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Olympic Solidarity- International Triathlon Union Level 2 -Philippines 2012

2012-02-08T11:52:00.006+08:00

" It is of great use to the sailor to know the length of his line, though he cannot with it fathom all the depths of the ocean." -John Locke

Success in sport doesn't depend on the gifted talent, but on the possibility to fully develop it.(Bulgakova,2000)

Funded by the Olympic Solidarity, the International Triathlon Union Development and National Olympic Committee of the Philippines held the ideal Level 2 coaching course to pave the way for a new generation of high level coaches the past week, for 20 coaches represesnting Egypt, Iran, Philippines, Singapore and Zimbabwe equipping them with all the neccessary tools & knowledge focussing on the advancement of developing the Asian and African region to make a mark at the Olympic Games. It was an honour to have had ITU facilitators and world best Olympic triathlon coaches: Luc Morin, Sergio Santos and Libby Burrell imparting their expertise.

Vietnam 2011-2012. Saigon; Cu Chi; Hanoi; HaiPhong; Halong; Cat Ba.

2012-01-10T11:47:00.015+08:00

Vietnam 2011-2012. Saigon; Cu Chi; Hanoi; HaiPhong; Halong; Cat Ba.
My travel intercourse right now is limited to gobbling my mushed carnation puffs pappyspelt with maple syrup.

In a nutshell: mafias donning our boat- leaving us 35km away in a dilapidated island in the wintery cold on Christmas day, best underground partying in Phuc Tan, sleezy steam baths & massages by prostitutes, haggling and fighting with cops & cabbies , overpriced drugdealers pushing marijuana to us, explosively funny accidents, dancing like a crazy fool in the midst of a local stage during new years eve & eating & getting drunk with a bunch of locals along the roadside. My most experiential backpacking trip by far. Can't wait for Malacca, Indonesia, Philippines & Thailand in the coming weeks.

Perfect company, perfect trip, brillant aventure. (http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10150442221503951.367500.517353950&type=1&l=dcfb63e26d)

2011-12-20T23:40:00.001+08:00

I take it you already know
of tough and bough and cough and dough?
Others may stumble, but not you,
On hiccough, thorough, lough** and through.
Well done! And now you wish, perhaps,
... To learn of less familiar traps?

Beware of heard, a dreadful word
That looks like beard and sounds like bird.
And dead: it's said like bed, not bead --
For goodness sake, don't call it deed!
Watch out for meat and great and threat
(They rhyme with suite and straight and debt)

A moth is not a moth in mother,
Nor both in bother, broth in brother,
And here is not a match for there,
Nor dear and fear for bear and pear.
And then there's dose and rose and lose --
Just look them up -- and goose and choose.
And cork and work and card and ward.
And font and front and word and sword.
And do and go and thwart and cart.
Come, come, I've hardly made a start!

A dreadful language? Man alive,
I'd mastered it when I was five!

2011-11-19T14:59:00.000+08:00

Well, it seems to me that the best relationships - the ones that last - are frequently the ones that are rooted in friendship. You know, one day you look at the person and you see something more than you did the night before. Like a switch has been flicked somewhere. And the person who was just a friend is... suddenly the only person you can ever imagine yourself with :)

Time: In a wink.

2011-10-21T02:43:00.001+08:00

Time: In a wink.

Our illusions float on waves of times like concentric circles in a pond.
Time is a thought, and we are clocks whose heart beat is its tick tock.

Time is such a funny thing.
Its like the hole inside a ring.
It's always now and never there.
But when I see, its now again.
It's never now but always there.
We're always here but never there.
But when I go from here to there.
Where there is here and here is there.

Should you think you're very tall,
next to a tree you're not at all.
And if you think you're very small
next to the a tree you're ten feet tall.
When we dream we seem awake,
But all along the dream was fake.

To me I'm "I" and never you.
You say you're "I" and also me,
I know that isn't true, How can that be?
I'm not you, and you're not me
Time is not what you might think.
It is and isnt. I am a wink.

The Human Condition.

2011-10-19T01:47:00.000+08:00

The Human Condition.

I am what is being experienced, the universe focused in the eye of the beholder.
There is a quality of sensation felt as myself which like the "I' of the hurricane is a calm centre of the storm of awareness.
The exact point of myself in this calm is held as if it were a black hole, where my purest reality cannot escape itself, the absolute.

I am tethered to the absolute by the cord of consciousness.
Again and again I gaze hard at my reflection in the looking glass.
Then blink without acknowlegement for my stare reveals no one is there.
All desciptions of me are like barnacles attached to me.
Nothing is really mine.

My name is a word like any other sound, which wen repeated blurs to babble.
My pride enjoys the false luxury of vanity; a cosmetic decoration that casts me into the furthest ring of self-dlusion.

I distract myself with novelties.
But they are not me.
I identify with follies.
But they are not me.
I am an accomplice to my own ignorane.

Under the magnifying glass of my attention my personality has the permanence of fog.
I communicate with myself in monologue.
My questions echo in my mind.
All this thinking exhaust me and I must rest.
But who falls asleep and dreams?

Ah Dreams. Those luminous meteors that light the night skies of our consciousness. Their own Reality!

All things mellow in the mind.

2011-10-18T11:03:00.000+08:00

All things mellow in the mind,
A sleight of hand, A trick of time
And even our great love will fade
So we'll be strangers in the grave.

That's why this moment is so dear
I kiss your lips and we are here
So lets hold tight and touch and feel
For this instant we are real.

Ignite the light and let it shine.

2011-10-14T10:40:00.002+08:00

Ignite the light and let it shine.

"Do you ever feel like a plastic bag drifting through the wind, wanting to start again?
Do you ever feel so paper thin like a house of cards, one blow from caving in?
Do you ever feel already buried deep, Six feet under screams but no one seems to hear a thing?
Do you know that there's still a chance for you, 'Cause there's a spark in you.

You just gotta ignite the light and let it shine
Just own the night,
'Cause baby, you're a firework
Come on, show 'em what you're worth, let your colors burst
Make 'em go, oh as you shoot across the sky.
You're gonna leave 'em falling down

You don't have to feel like a waste of space;
You're original, cannot be replaced.
If you only knew what the future holds after a hurricane comes a rainbow.
Maybe you're reason why all the doors are closed;
So you could open one that leads you to the perfect road.
Like a lightning bolt, your heart will blow;
And when it's time, you'll know

Boom, boom, boom
Even brighter than the moon, moon, moon
It's always been inside of you, you, you; and now it's time to let it through."

-Katy Perry-

One moment in time.

2011-10-09T14:53:00.005+08:00

One Moment In Time.

"My finest day, is yet unknown
Each day I live. A day to give the best of me.

I broke my heart, Fought every gain to taste the sweet.
I face the pain, I rise and fall;
Yet through it all, this much remains.

I want one moment in time
When I'm more than I think I can be
When all of my dreams are a heartbeat away
And the answers are all up to me
Give me one moment in time
When I'm racing with destiny
Then in that one moment of time
I will feel eternity and I will be free

I've lived to be the very best
I want it all, No time for less
I've laid the plans, Now lay the chance here in my hands.
I am a winner in this lifetime
If I seize that one moment in time, making it shine."

-Whitney Houston-

Perfect moment. Stars incredibly aligned. Waiting for 100%.

2011-10-04T00:59:00.007+08:00

I am constantly searching for the perfect moment, for the 100%.
When will it finally be right and making sense?
I know when the perfect moment arrives,
everything will fit perfectly together,
like the stars being incredibly aligned,
and my heart would take favour with peace.

Wir sind am Leben (We're Alive).

2011-10-02T16:02:00.005+08:00

Wir sind am Leben (We're Alive)

"Hast du alles probiert? (Have you tried everything?)
Hast du alles versucht? (Have you tested everything?)
Hast du wirklich gelebt? (Have you really lived?)
Was willst du sagen? (What would you like to say?)
Wen willst du fragen? (Who would you like to ask?)
Was willst du erleben? (Through what would you like to live?)
und was willst du geben? (And what do you intend to give?)
Wer gibt dir den Frieden? (Who gives you your peace?)
und was ist liegengeblieben? (And what’s left incomplete?)
An was willst du glauben (In what do you wish to believe?)
oder glaubst du an dich? (Do you even believe in yourself?)
Wie oft wirst du betrogen? (How often will you be deceived?)
Wie oft belügst du dich? (How often will you deceive yourself?)
Wieviel Türen wirst du öffnen? (How many doors will you open?)
Welches Schloss knackst du nie? (Which lock will you never crack?)
Wie oft kannst du widerstehen? (How long can you hold out?)
und wann gehst du in die Knie? (And when will you fall to your knees?)
Hat deine Welt sich wirklich gedreht? (Has your world really revolved?)
Hast du alles getan? (Have you done everything?)
Wenn nicht, fang an! (If not, begin!)
Keiner wird dich zerstören (No one will tear you apart)
Hör deinen Herzschlag (Hear the beat of your heart)
Du bist am Leben! (You’re alive!)
Weil dein Herz noch Feuer fängt ('Cause your heart still catches fire)
Weil dein Herz die Liebe kennt" ('Cause your heart knows the love)
- Rosenstolz-

Half Asleep: Hello, artificial jetlag!

2011-09-28T21:13:00.011+08:00

"Sometimes I go whole days listening bored, half sleep.
I won't say anything that's worth a thing to me.
One day, suddenly, time took a turn that once felt so brief;
I blinked to see polite ghosts fading quickly

What begins as an unguarded train of thoughts slowly can become an addiction to the slumber of disconnection and the resonance of memory that no longer has a shape but keeps you numb through the hours till gone is another day

Be aware, my darling these things I say I mean are just traces of something I long to feel again I see our time expand in the air almost forcibly, spreading thinner till it dissolves completely."

Fine, so I think that yet another late pot of coffee coupled with beers might have been a tad bit unnecessary. I mean, I guess I have been wide awake in the wee hours of the morning constantly for the past 2 weeks. Hello, artificial jetlag! Today, in 5hrs time, I will my start my last day of insane social lubrication and liquidation in Indonesia with some sweetassed drunk cableskiing stunts before I try to get my head back in line for continued serious run training. I reckon I am still in my extended holiday mode and would need to refocus my thoughts on some crucial plans that are to come my way for the following months and I am extremely excited for it.

Открывайте шире краны, Открывайте шире двери.

(Open wider cranes, Open wide the doors.)

Amor fati: Europe Escapade 18th August-18th September 2011.

2011-09-20T02:22:00.039+08:00

18th August - 18th September 2011, It’s been the best summer holidays of my life. Castrophically 9 countries in exactly 1 month (Qatar, Austria, Slovakia, Slovenia, Hungary, Spain, United Kingdom, France, Turkey).

I realized, some people travel to escape. There's nothing wrong with that. But those who want to challenge themselves, to immerse themselves in the variety of talent and lifestyles available on this planet, must open themselves up. Through travel I first became aware of the outside world; it was through travel that I found my own introspective way into becoming a part of it. I need to amuse myself, I need to travel. Not I - not anyone else, can travel that road for you. You must travel it for yourself. In the world through which I travel, I am endlessly creating myself.

(*pls click the individual links below to the public photo albums.)

http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10150265899533951.337076.517353950&l=012eb5080c&type=1

to see top 200 snaps from the amazing trip
and

http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10150285696138951.342248.517353950&l=ec15cd28f0&type=1

to see UK & Graduation Snaps

As I am sitting on the plane on my way back home to Singapore reminiscing my trip … I got to say I am amazingly overwhelmed with everything that I have experienced. From the people I met, travelled with, trusted my life to and fell in love with, to the depth of culture I managed to dig into this short period of time.
Well in a nutshell, I decided to take the don’t sweat the small stuff approach and surprisingly all I needed was to open up the bottle of wine bottle in bagpack and soak myself in the bathtub whenever things didn’t go as planned and my mind was back in place. Wow, so many mixed feelings- Let's break it down. But before i start, a special magical thanks to Thenna, who took the special trouble to intricately book my main international and domestic flights at a fantastic rate and figure out the main schedule for me to do some of this crazy trips with care.

Doha, Qatar
Evgeny and Elena had a baby girl born an hour before I landed the day I started out on the trip:) As Evgeny was super happy and Elena was stuck in the States right after delivery, we had the best crash night tour of parch, posh, desert land in an amazing cruiser catching up over lethal Singapore slings made by a true Russian to celebrate this special occasion:) Exactly a month after which, I went back to see sweet Indigo Elisabeth Stolyarova- she was such a bundle of joy. Sadly I couldn’t bring the bottle of best Turkish Raki for the Russkis as it got confiscated at the customs as no alcohol was allowed in the country. That feeling wasn’t even half as bad when they said they thought they lost it 20 mins before my plane took off.

Austria- Vienna, Puchberg & Schneeberg
Anne Tscheliessnig, where can I start to tell you how much you mean to me:) I am lost for words to describe how much you have done for me and am truly indebted to you. Your hospitality to let me stay in your house and the trust you rendered to me- Unspeakable- All the effort you took to bring me up to the mountains- That is still definitely one of a major highlights of my trip for sure:). Really enjoyed your company and pep talks and I salute your ability to take a lot of my annoyingness, nonsense and all the yakkadiyaks. Just wanted to add you played a big role in a lot of the decisions I take in my life as I look up to you as a role model. You are the loveliest friend one could ever have and I would be a fool to lose you ever.

Slovenia- Ljubljana, Bled /Austria
Johnny Bliss, today I was actually really thinking a lot about you during my trip back from London from Paris. I was smiling to myself about the awesomeness of everything- from the under-aged people, flirting with thy hot lifeguard and getting back 90km away from civilization in Slovenia, picking people up in a random village Balkan party that seemed like an endless circus and how we managed to hitchhike our way back to the hostel at 2am, in just our simple tops, shorts, beachtowels & swimwears beneath through the chills and frills and even had enough time for an epic dirty wild party:) you really had my back and vice-versa. I will never forget that. You saw me giving my heart to someone; the many side not many who have seen;) you're the best travel buddy I ever had and yeah I really hope to terrorise, have more chilled moments and play pick up in other lands too... If you know what I mean :) btw I was also listening to the fm4 playback we did and all I can say is I'm still scared of my own screeching:) thanks for sharing a little window in your life. E.g. your little playground cum picnic/hiking secretspot- Hütteldorf sipping Almdudlers and sommer Sturms together ,your colleagues and friends like Albert, Mona, and Lukas. They were really cool. To Maria, Lorant, Christine, Corrina- It was also amazing to have met you lovelies and grooved in Austria. And to the special someone reading this; That night i met you, your eyes reflected the skyline and I was not prepared for a highlight till i found you sitting there in this bright light but now i know you won't come when i call.... you’ve really got me this time round and found your way to a spot in my heart that I thought I had harden a few years ago. I was really scared to tell it to you initially but after i did, i fell much better and thank you for filling that space.

“Don't try, you'll find; was not your fault. The goal, reach out. The choice is yours to find. Design, you've got the life to guide. Your faith decides. The world's your goal to find. Relax, slow down. They'll hope, design. Even though he's hard to forgive; when you can't just fall in love. Just to know your thoughts you know that. You'll be all right in time” And one thing for sure all of you- I WILL DEFINITELY BE BACK! :)

Slovakia, Bratislava
Best absinthe, food and meeting amazing local people that kept popping up having good conversations constantly while strolling to the beautiful sights.

Hungary, Budapest
Csenge and Vato! Crazy wild stripping night on the bridge till dawn! Walked endlessly in flippingly, blisteringly hot Budapest with the best company. Met some angels and demons but it was all good with Csenge’s love and craziness.
Spain- Barcelona, Catalonia, Villa Franca, Terressa
Marti and fanny- Without you guys I wouldn't have experienced that much! Similarly to Anne, the amount of effort and time you took to pick me up, telling me constant safety tips, ensuring i get my way around, showing me every touristy and non touristy spot in Barcelona and Catalonia was immense. I will never forget the first human tower and crazy festival in villa Franca, meeting your lovely family for dinner, introducing me to your culture and friends, feeding me some of the best food ever with overflowing alcohol, your crazy generosity of footing every bill and getting angry when I even spoke about taking it. I really owe you loads now. Fanny taking time to drive me to the little posh village and lake for a super cold but refreshing swim, and of course Charles for taking time to catch up after our Bali escapade 2 yrs ago.

United Kingdom-London
Second home! My sister, bro-in-law with love picked me up from the airport and we were immediately put to work to help my mum out of homesickness:) It's was a pity my dad hates to travel and wouldn't be here for my graduation. But well, being home with family again felt really warm and secure undoubtedly :) wasn't long before we dragged mum out for some sightseeing and shopping before heading for an all-girls rendezvous to Paris.

France, Paris
3 ladies=Mum,sis & myself=3 different ideologies=insanity and loads of squabbling...surprisingly not! In fact, we had really intimate beautiful days and nights together. Had my first Louis Vuitton purchase that was over the top and enjoyed good champagne, food, ate loads of orgasmic pastries- Too many tarts that I felt like a retard. The walking up and down the stairs definitely did a lot of help to lose the calories.

United Kingdom: Wolverhampton, West Midlands & Seaford
2 Days to graduation, terrible queue at the UK border control, was rushing to get my last minute interrail city ticket a day before my graduation day just to find out an asshole chose to jump onto the train tracks killing himself delaying my train making it more “unsafe” for me to make my way in the wee hours of the morning to my junkified, sleezeball, boring, drizzling, chilly west midlands hotel. Nevertheless the following days were spent fruitfully visiting my campus, collecting my gowns, catching up with my old friends and lecturers over whisky, wine and food before my family came to rock with me on the actual day only to find out that their photo skills got me on my nerves.
After the prestigious day of my life donning the ever so flowy gown and strutting down the stage collecting the certificate that would open up my eyes to the world after academics, we headed back to good old drizzling London, where I then decided to head to meet up with the Mitchell sisters and head down to the Thames river festival with crazy Michael and friends till dawn with the plan to escape to Seaford the following morning to walk the most gorgeous pristine coastline accompanied with a sweetassed picnic with other crazy fellow couchsurfers only to get lost yet again, this time with veronica and nina, but having a really cool hitchhike back to the city centre stuffing our faces with german wafflely crackers offered by our saviours. It was indeed some international havoc. Especially back home at Micheal's frat house with the 3 shopping crazed polish chics over late night story telling!

Turkey- Istanbul, Bosphorus, Cappadocia
Plane-train-tram- ferry- bus- walk. That was my mean of getting home day in and day out travel between the European and Asian continent. At first I was thinking it was way to hectic and was having half the mind of staying in a hostel rather than crashing at Mehmet's beautiful house in the suburbs, but after much contemplation, I realized the saying “In Rome, do what the romans do” and so similarly that was just what I did in turkey and with that I managed to meet such amazing locals along the way. I gotta say it was weirdly bizarre with so many weird sexually drived man so openly hitting on me -not that I was a beauty or whatever. Nevertheless they were extraordinarily friendly and the views were beautiful.
After a few days of the city life and trying out a Balkan clubbing experience, I decided to take a 10 hrs. local bus ride to the kapodokya with not a single soul understanding a word of English. But I was lucky enough to have met 2 couchsurfer who were quite well known in the area and they were amazingly sweet enough to take the day to drive me around showing most of the Turkish culture and the spectacular culture in a day. Welcomed me with the best Turkish coffee and apple mint tea, dondurum (Turkish ice cream), raki, mint alcohol and balik and bread. Taught me hands on pottery from the master, a twirling traditional dance, had the honour of watching their beautiful dance performance in a reformed ruined mosque which was topped off with an after show communal dinner with all the funny Turkish men.

Basically all in all, the people I met were really all blessed to be a blessing! To all those who made my trip so eventful and memorable I just sincerely have only two words, but these two words are from the bottom of my heart: Thank You.

And now i am all refreshed to be back at work with my beautiful kids, colleagues and parents. Was extemely excited, suprised and overjoyed to see myself on the headlines of the Hollandse Club Singapore magazine as the youngest female ultramarathoner in Singapore with my article donning a whole page of its own:)

Infuse me.

2011-07-03T12:42:00.001+08:00

“Put me at ease;
Fill me with peace.
Take me to all the places
I’ve ever wanted to reach.
Strike me with desire;
Lift me up on higher,
To constellation of love, laughs and delights
O Scent,
Heal me.
Empower me.
Infuse me.
Complete me.”

100km Sundown 100km Ultramarathon 25-26th June 2011Youngest female Singaporean; 16hrs; 18th position Women's Open Category

2011-06-27T00:27:00.014+08:00

100km Sundown Ultramarathon 25-26th June 2011

Youngest female Singaporean Ultramarathoner; 16hrs; 18th position Women's Open Category

The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart. Statistics shows that less than 0.01% of the world running population can actually do a full 100k without stopping. No matter how one trains, we'll never be fully ready. But what the heck, this 25-26th night will never be forgotten by me in this lifetime. Mission Sundown 100km Ultramarathon 2011 completed as the youngest female Singaporean in 16hrs and coming in 18th under the Women's Open category was just the cherry on top of the cake!

In a nutshell, I got to say this was one of my most painful races- In fact most tortorous night of my life running through exhaustion, pain and humidity. It totally broke me down mentally and physically. Never before have I wanted to give up so many times in a race itself. Its been 2 years since i hung up my shoes after completing 1 1/2 hrs Ironmans back to back at the age of 22- also hitting the record of being the youngest female Singaporean Ironman completor. After a pleasant age group rank then of 4th in Langkawi and 3rd in Singapore respectively I thought it was the pinnacle and pilgrimage of my sporting career. My body was battered and I never saw myself racing an Ultramarathon in this lifetime. Least did i expect that one day I was going to partake in one. I was always considered a swimmer base and even in triathlon, the land elements had always taken the worst side of me. So, what was I actually thinking before, during and after the the race? Honestly?! Even I myself haven't got a clue to that answer. Probably I wasn't thinking at all.

All I knew was that the first 21km i ran a 1:50, 42km in sub 5hrs, 50km in 6:20 and had the longest and most mindmessing stroll back to the finish line sharp 16hrs. Through that time, I had learnt so much more about myself than I never knew about-i.e. my reactions to people overtaking me, learning the importance to pace myself with realistic goals, my pyschotic high pain tolerance, communication and composure under fatigue .

So, what were some of the breaking points? Had my first little toe swell up to 3 times its size hitting the shoe suddenly at 21km when i was in top 3 position. I plopped to the side of changi coastal road in tears all set to give up. But after a while, I realised I wasnt here to quit but to continue. Even if I had to pinch those 3 blisters and wrapped it with a wet plaster, I told myself I had to complete it. 21km was just like any other ordinary weekend recovery run I had. I couldnt just stop that easily. As Lance Armstrong may put it, “Pain is temporary. It may last a minute, or an hour, or a day, or a year, but eventually it will subside and something else will take its place. If I quit, however, it lasts forever.” To my suprise, it was relieving without any overwhelming pain and I got up continuing my race trying hard not to fall back.

So past the 50km mark my knees started to act up but i was only at the 66km mark that i decided to curl up on the on the floor wanting to quit and in tears yet again. The sharp pains in the knees were killing me- I was cardiovascularly and muscularly fit but my joints just had to act up. Luckilly i had 2 angelic supporters that kept me going on and even stopped to give me a massage. Now at the 96km mark, the sun was beating down hard, the piercing knee pains were just killing me and there came the thoughts of quitting again. One may think how dumb would it be to quit just 4 km to a finish of a 100km? but seriously it was that painful. Well with just some self-coaxing of and self-talking myself through what i did during all my 3 months of disciplined training sessions and the thought of getting to the finish line to see my family and friends (in person and in thoughts overseas) was simple enough to practically get me trotting to the finish line. Suprisngly, the last 300m hobbling sprint uphill was just like entering the pearly gates once again after 2 years of "retirement". The feeling was overwhelming and the sweet scent of success and completion, invaluable.

Whoever thought an Ironman was tough should think twice and try an ultramarathon before letting their horses run wild. Scientists estimate that our bodies contain anywhere from 75 to 100 trillion cells but out of all its functioning systems the cells in the brain are the most powerful one. We are all the same- Humans- The difference in completion, winning and dropping out is how we are able to permeate every cell in our mind and body to maximise our individual potentials.

So, in closure, I would also love to thank God above, my family, support crew, besties, friends, sponsors, colleagues and each and everyone who was involved in some way or another in me accomplishing this amazing feat. Thank you all for the touching and motivational calls, wishes, congratulations (both locally & internationally, personally & technologically) and just being there in spirit and person supporting me to the finish. WE did it.

The Identity of Madness.

2011-06-11T12:59:00.004+08:00

What is my identity?
I am interested in madness. It probably is the biggest and most constant thing in the human race and I wonder how does one take away a man’s madness without also taking away his identity? Ain’t gonna let my identity be stolen. Everything first happens in our mind, then in our body- spirit and soul. The thoughts we have about ourselves, the way we feel, and the words we speak are what ultimately define us as an individual.
We should consciously try never to envy a person unless we are willing to swap identities with them.

The will to win means nothing without the will to prepare.

2011-05-21T15:54:00.027+08:00

100km Ultramarathon: Sundown 2011

Isn't it wonderfully crazy?
Ich bin selbst verwirrt über mein Gefühl.
Trying to remain cool but can't even understand myself.
I realise I am quite delighted as long as I am not near being crushed.
To me, knowing what my body is capable of doing is the ultimate challenges in being a sportsperson.
The mind is a very powerful thing & it’s generally the only thing standing between me and something incredible. We can always do more than we think we can.

The will to win means nothing without the will to prepare.

Every trip has six degrees; Life is one big trip and we are all travellers. I want my life to be a circus!

2011-05-19T12:48:00.001+08:00

Every trip has six degrees.
Life is one big trip and we are all travellers.

Every traveller goes through the first five degrees
Only a few have reached the sixth.
It has always been my dream to leave my monotone lifestyle,
But never had the courage to.
And sometimes I think to myself;

Every first moment of a trip, Everything would seem natural.
But then I understand quickly that the destination is far.
And only what counts is the road to reach it.

I wouldn’t know for sure where I’m going to be in three months,
So there’s no point to have a fixed date.
I could always leave and come back later.

I’m surely going to open up the doors to the world I never knew would exist
I know I’ve gotta get out there!

A world where every night brings up a new dream
And time has its value according to what we give it.
Live in the moment
Don’t worry how much time is going to pass
Or what you’re going do in life,
Because in one sense it really/ doesn’t matter

It’s the sixth degree.
It’s the ultimate trip,
That has no beginning and no end.
That’s it. Life. Live.
I’m in a great trip.
I’ve never had a better trip than ever.
It’s like a drug!

We are all searching for a mystical power.
I enjoy myself meeting new people.
I enjoy myself travelling.
I want my life to be a circus!
I wanna live!
I wanna remember!
Every move is a birth as every movement is a breath.
The heart beats as if my life goes away by the second;
To go towards the unkown that I’ve been looking for my entire life;
It may be ****ed up,
But I’m always moving.

And if by luck, the sixth degree is waiting for me on my journey
I wouldn’t have to regret anything.

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

2011-05-05T11:11:00.005+08:00

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.”

But somewhere along the line, you changed.
You stopped being you.
You let people stick a finger in your face and tell you you're no good.
And when things got hard, you started looking for something to blame, like a big shadow.
Let me tell you something you already know.
The world ain't all sunshine and rainbows.
It's a very mean and nasty place;
and I don't care how tough you are it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it.
You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life.
But it ain't about how hard you hit.
It's about how hard you can get it and keep moving forward.
How much you can take and keep moving forward.
That's how winning is done!

Cause if you're willing to go through all the battling you got to go through to get where you want to get, who's got the right to stop you?
I mean maybe some of you guys got something you never finished,
something you really want to do,
something you never said to someone, something... and you're told no, even after you paid your dues?
Who's got the right to tell you that, Who? Nobody!
It's your right to listen to your gut, it ain't nobody's right to say no after you earned the right to be what you wanna be and do what you wanna do.

Now if you know what you're worth then go out and get what you're worth.
But you got to be willing to take the hits, and not pointing fingers saying you ain't where you wanna be because of him, or her, or anybody!
Cowards do that and that ain't you! You're better than that!
But until you start believing in yourself, you ain't gonna have a life.

“It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
We are all meant to shine, as children do.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.”
"

"The Physics of the Quest."

2011-04-13T22:39:00.004+08:00

"The Physics of the Quest."
A force in nature governed by laws as real as the laws of gravity.

The rule of Quest Physics goes something like this:
If you're brave enough to leave behind everything familiar and comforting, which can be anything from your house to bitter, old resentments, and set out on a truth-seeking journey, either externally or internally, and if you are truly willing to regard everything that happens to you on that journey as a clue and if you accept everyone you meet along the way as a teacher and if you are prepared, most of all, to face and forgive some very difficult realities about yourself, then the truth will not be withheld from you.

Attraversiamo! :)

The Gladiator in Us.

2011-04-12T22:49:00.024+08:00

The Gladiator in Us.

Success; Acknowledgment; Fame; Glory;
Many of us fight for reasons like that, but we don't build a good name from one day to the next.
It is necessary to work hard, even if there are stumbles and falls.
It is necessary to overcome obstacles.
It is necessary to have motivation, persevere and insist.
Life is a succession of battles.

Job; Family; Friends.
All of us have a current status.
What we do in life, echoes in eternity!

We also have expectations for the future,
("3 weeks from now I will be harvesting my crops, Imagine what you'll be, and it will be so")

However the twists and tricks of fate, takes us by surprise.
One can't always do what one likes, but those that like what they do and are proud of all what they do for the better make more progress day by day.

There are moments of quiet, ethic, decisive moments when your good intentions are not good enough that's when life demands of us.

Courage; Boldness; Creativity & an Unquenchable Fighting Spirit.
The truth is that problems and setbacks happen more frequently than you would like.

Times change;
New challenges arise;
New objectives need to be reach
The true warriors look into the eyes of the future without fear or arrogance, but with the confidence of those who are ready for battle will overcome.

Living is also been prepared for difficult situations.
How we approach the difficulties is what makes the difference.

Sometimes we ask how can we cope with the radical changes that we are faced with- Like acting in a new scenario with things we used to do so well and now need to be relearnt;
How can we fight without letting go of fundamental values;
More how do we know what needs to be done at the right time.

The amazing thing is that it is precisely upon facing adverse situations that many of us rediscover the best in ourselves.

Ethics; Friendship; the Capability to create new strategies based on experience and Talents that promote Positive alliances, Spirit of Leadership, the Awareness of the Strength that resides on true team work.

All these comes vivid when required by circumstances but one knows there is an important ultimate goal.

Naturally is not easy to give up habits and customs;
It is not easy to adapt to new environments or resources we are not familiar with. But all warriors know that pessimism and/or uncertainty holds one back on moments like this,
Even if the threat comes from many sides,
With agility, strength and determination we can achieve our goals.

A combination of energy and intelligence, as well as a balance between emotion and reason are essential to success.

It is the most satisfying feeling to reach the end of a task with the feeling of duty fulfilled;
and receive the accolades and respect of all our colleagues and admiration of the people we love.

To hear our name spoken with pride,
the pride to have overseen the obstacles, the opportunity of growth.
The price of been able to face life's ups and downs and win.
The pride of been a winner without giving up fundamental, moral and ethical values.

Wir waren geboren.

2011-03-07T11:11:00.002+08:00

" Es ist mein Wunsch wieder Träume zu erlauben ohne Reue nach vorn in eine Zukunft zu schauen

Wir waren geboren um zu leben mit den Wundern jener Zeit, sich niemals zu vergessen bis in alle Ewigkeit.

Wir waren geboren um zu leben für den einen Augenblick bei den jeder von uns spürte wie wertvoll Leben ist."

-Unheilig-

Cambodia- Phnom Penh & Siem Reap February 2011.

2011-02-24T23:25:00.000+08:00

Cambodia,Phnom Penh & Siem Reap February 2011

Realize the value of time. Time in perspective.

2011-02-15T22:12:00.005+08:00

Realize the value of time. Time in perspective.

Imagine there is a bank which credits your account each morning with $86,400, carries over no balance from day to day, allows you to keep no cash balance, and every evening cancels whatever part of the amount you had failed to use during the day.

What would you do?
Draw out every cent, of course!
Well, everyone has such a bank. It's name is time.
Every morning, it credits you with 86,400 seconds.
Every night it writes off, as lost, whatever of this you have failed to invest to good purpose.
It carries over no balance. It allows no overdraft.
Each day it opens a new account for you.
Each night it burns the records of the day.
If you fail to use the day's deposits, the loss is yours.
There is no going back. There is no drawing against the tomorrow.
You must live in the present on today's deposits.
Invest it so as to get from it the utmost in health, happiness and success!
The clock is running. Make the most of today.

To realize the value of ONE YEAR, ask a student who failed a grade.
To realize the value of ONE MONTH, ask a mother who gave birth to a premature baby.
To realize the value of ONE WEEK, ask the editor of a weekly newspaper.
To realize the value of ONE HOUR, ask the lovers who are waiting to meet.
To realize the value of ONE MINUTE, ask a person who missed the train.
To realize the value of ONE SECOND, ask a person who just avoided an accident.
To realize the value of ONE MILLISECOND, ask the person who won a silver medal in the Olympics.

Treasure every moment that you have! And treasure it more because you shared it with someone special, special enough to spend your time.

And remember, time waits for no one.
Yesterday is history.
Tomorrow is a mystery.
Today is a gift. That's why it's called the present.
Right here, Right Now.

India December 2010- January 2011.

2011-01-05T01:05:00.000+08:00

India December 2010-January 2011.

Be Grateful when You're Feeling Good and Graceful when You're Feeling Bad

2010-12-17T12:29:00.017+08:00

With the year nearing the end, there is just one thing that I believe to have learnt and need to constantly remind myself to do- That is:

"Be Grateful when You're Feeling Good and Graceful when You're Feeling Bad" -Richard Carlson (1997)

The happiest person on earth isn't always happy. In fact, the happiest people all have their fair share of low moods, problems, dissapointments, and heartache. Often the difference between a person who is happy and someone who is unhappy isn't how often they get low, or even how low they drop, but instead, it's what they do with their low moods. How do they relate to their changing feelings?

Most people have it backward. When they are feeling down, they roll up their sleeves and get to work. They take their low moods very seriously and try to figure out and analyze what's wrong. They try to force themselves out of their low state, which tends to compound the problem rather than solve it.

When you observe peaceful, relaxed people, you find that when they are feeling good, they are very grateful. They understand both positive and negative feelings come and go, and that there will come a time when they won't be feeling so good.To happy people, this is okay, it's the way of things. They accept the inevitability of passing feelings. So, when they are feeling depressed, angry or stressed out, they relate to these feelings with the same openess and wisdom. Rather than fight their feelings and panic simply because they are feeling bad, they accept their feelings, knowing that this too shall pass. Rather than stumbling and fighting against their negative feelings, they are graceful in their acceptance of them. This allows them to come gently and gracefully out of negative feeling states into more positive states of mind. One of the happiest people I know is someone who also gets quite low from time to time. The difference, it seems, is that he has become comfortable with his low moods. It's almost as though he doesn't really care bcause he knows that, in due time, he will be happy again. To him, it's no big deal.
The next time you're feeling bad, rather than fight it, try to relax. See if, instead of panicking, you can be graceful and calm. Life isn't an emergency, Don't Sweat the Small Stuff. Know that if you don't fight your negative feelings, if you are graceful, they will pass away just as surely as the sun sets in the evening.

When you stop chasing the wrong things, you give the right things a chance to catch you :)

This coming year, I am going to try my level best to constantly remind myself to:

Look for the Extraordinary in the Ordinary.

I am going to fill my Life with Love.

Make peace with imperfection.

Turn Melodrama into Mellow-Drama.

Keep Asking myself : "What's Really Important? Was it Really Important?, How would it matter in 10 years down the road? One Hundred Years from Now, All New People "

Realize the Power of My Own Thoughts.

Acknowledge the Totality of My Being.

Breathe, Relax and Savour every moment I am living in :)

Let Go & Let God.

My universe flung into a kaleidoscope of new possibilities.

2010-11-02T21:37:00.011+08:00

Life is strange- It has its twists and turns all the time. But this year, I’ve got to say life has been absolutely amazing. Yes, life is divided into three terms I believe – that’s- which was, which is, and which will be. I am just hoping to learn from the past to profit by the present, and from the present to live better in the future. I just love how we keep evolving and keeping life as fresh as it could be. My universe is constantky flung into a kaleidoscope of new possibilities and I love it-so, NO complaining on my side:)

World Aquatic Babies & Children Conference 2010 Singapore

2010-09-30T17:34:00.002+08:00

World Aquatic Babies & Children Conference 2010 Singapore (http://www.wabcswim.com/pdf's/WABCSingapore2010overview.pdf)

By Paige Ross

The World Aquatic Babies and Children (WABC) Conference created a splash in Singapore as leading experts from across the world came together to share their knowledge of teaching toddlers and babies a skill for life.

The educational conference showcased aquatic professionals from America, Japan, Singapore and Australia and provided an exchange of ideas, practices and strategies to over 200 swimming teachers who attended.

The world class group of presenters each gave an educational presentation to conference about a range of different topics.

Nobuko Saito Cleary, founder of Cross-Cultural communications, gave an insight into the history of WABC with her presentation WABC: Past and Present. Nobuko also presented on behalf of her sister Niko Saito, founder of Saito Aquatic Academy, who spoke about ‘Aquamics’ and the use of rhythm and live music.

Jackie Young, founder of SWIMBABES™, used her experience to present about the future of infant swimming while Lana Whitehead, owner of SWIMkids USA, discussed the importance of movement and the key to early learning. Bette Pipes, swimming instructor also from the USA, brought some colour to the conference with her presentation on the Disneyland Approach to Swimming.

Two-time Olympian, Ang Peng Siong, took the conference through his personal history and journey to become the fastest swimmer in the world while Ed Pemberton, president of Adventureswim.com , educated the audience on how to move up from being a good teacher to becoming a great teacher.

Enthusiastic aquaDucks™ swimming teachers Nancy Margaretha Catharina Jansen and Michelle Verma both gave energetic presentations. Nancy demonstrated the importance of imparting the joy of swimming for life and Michelle put her spin on the fundamental relationship between a parent and child. Koen Verhoef, Managing director of Swim Centre Verhoef, showed the conference the Singapore way of life with his presentation on Baby Swimming: The Tropical Way.

Australian and Founder of the Judy Watts Swim School, Judy Watts, displayed different techniques of submersion and class design for babies three months to two years. Fellow Aussie and swimming teacher, Emma Lawrence, took the audience through her daughter’s incredible learn to swim journey from 0-12 months while Wendy Ross, project manager and author of the Swim Australia™ Teacher - Learner with a Disability course, taught the conference strategies on how to teach disabled swimmers learn to swim.

Special highlights included, Mr Foo Chee Han, founder of the Singapore Swimming Teachers’ Association (SSTA) and The Aquatic Education Centre being presented an honorary award from the Swim School Association of Singapore (SSAS) in recognition of being the pioneer of baby swimming in Singapore.

Mr Foo Chee Han is passionate about his philosophy of imparting knowledge, techniques, skills and experiences to whoever needs them.
Other highlights included the pool workshop where the conference attendees observed the aquaDucks learn to swim classes as well as Australia’s very own Laurie Lawrence, Laurie Lawrence Swim Schools, and his daughter and granddaughter, Emma and Evie, demonstrating learn to swim skills.

The conference ran smoothly and special recommendations should go to the teachers of aquaDucks™ with special thanks to Koen Verhoef and Lindy Koh-Teo for a fantastic time. ▪

Tamil Murasu newspaper feature: 30 September(Thursday) Pg 4.

2010-09-30T11:00:00.001+08:00

Tamil Murasu bewspaper feature: 30 September(Thursday) Pg 4.
வியாழன், செப்டம்பர் 30, 2010

Though there were loads of mistakes in the facts, I am really honored and blessed to be featured as one of the most influential youths in Singapore sports through this article, yet again. Well nevertheless, i've gotta say its preety cool to be in such a big ass article that took 3/4 of the page in the main indian newspaper here in Singapore. :)

My main aim was to tell the youths that:
"Your biggest failure is the stepping stone to your biggest success".

Things Are What They Used To Be.

2010-09-12T14:22:00.002+08:00

Things Are What They Used To Be.

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate,
but that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us.

There is nothing enlightened about shrinking
so that other people won't feel insecure around you.
It is not just in some; it is in everyone.

And, as we let our own light shine, we consciously give
other people permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our fear,
our presence automatically liberates others. "

Con éxito Chiapaneco en Global Scholars & Leaders Conference, Singapore 2010

2010-08-25T22:38:00.004+08:00

Con éxito Chiapaneco en Global Scholars & Leaders Conference, Singapore 2010
miércoles, 18 de agosto de 2010
Carlos Pedraza

TGz.- En representación a nivel nacional el estudiante chiapaneco Eliseo Velázquez, hizo presencia en el Global Scholars & Leaders Conference, realizado en Singapore, el cual es un evento que reúne a las mentes más brillantes dentro de un contexto de entendimiento, cooperación y sinergía.

Al respecto, Eliseo Velázquez quien esta de regreso al país especificamente en Monterrey en donde actualmente sigue cursando los ultimos semestres de su carrera, señaló en exclusiva para el Sol de Chiapas que tuvo la oportunidad de conocer e intercambiar algunas palabras con diplomáticos muy importantes a nivel mundial.

Tal es el caso expresó de un intercambio de palabras con el Presidente de Singapore Sellapan Ramanathan en “La Istana” nombre asignado a la residencia presidencial”.

Comentó que el inicio de la Conferencia fue el domingo ocho de Agosto, mismo día que se celebró el 45 aniversario de la Independencia de Singapore.

Asimismo explicó que los siguientes días estuvieron llenos de actividades exhaustivas, dirigidas por el Profesor Yang WeiZhang, especialista en resolución grupal de conflictos, momentos que pusieron a prueba la capacidad mental y de cooperación de cada participante.

“Actividades centradas en encontrar las mejores soluciones a los problemas más complicados, tales como la contaminación, la deforestación, la inestabilidad política, la hambruna entre otros. La cooperación internacional fue la clave para generar ideas realistas, factibles y sobre todo, ideas que logren un cambio”.
También tuvo el honor de platicar con el actual jefe del centro de estudios ASEAN, y ex secretario general de ASEAN, el Señor Rodolfo Severino quién manifestó la falta de intercambio académico y cultural entre los países de ASEAN y los países latinoamericanos.

Un segundo conferencista de suma importancia para el estado de Chiapas, en cuestión de enseñanza, precisó que fue el Director General de iDA Singapore, el Distinguido Chew Beng Keong, quién dirige iDA Singapore, compañía especializada en la enseñanza primaria y secundaria con el uso de la tecnología más avanzada.

“Creando plataformas virtuales de enseñanza e interacción las cuales se encuentran en actualización inmediata, este tipo de “escuelas virtuales” ya están siendo implementadas en Singapore y tienen resultados excelentes ya que coordinan las actividades diarias con los mayores avances tecnológicos con la finalidad de enseñar a los niños de Singapore”.

De esta forma dijo que logró hacer relaciones con la mayoria de los estudiantes, “tuve la oportunidad de hacer buena amistad con la gran mayoría de ellos, entre los que destacan Geeth Prajwal Reddy un joven estudioso del colegio de Ingeniería de Tamil Nadu, India, quién ha enfocado sus estudios hacía la incorporación de tecnología de punta, como la de la levitación magnética, en regiones donde hay pobreza y por ende es difícil de financiar.

“Y un segundo joven llamado Muhammad Waqas Nazar Tiwana, el Ministro de Asuntos Exteriores & Defensa del Parlamento de la Juventud de Pakistán, un joven emprendedor con visión a mejorar la situación de los jóvenes en su país y con mucha tendencia a intercambiar conocimiento con personas interesadas en mejorar la vida juvenil”.
Aclaró que la conferencia finalizó de forma exitosa, otorgando a los participantes sus respectivos diplomas, y anunciado que la siguiente tomará lugar en Londrés.

Al final de la exhaustiva semana laboral, manifestó que los organizadores del evento decidieron dar una sorpresa a los 25 escolares al darles boletos para asistir a la Inauguración de los Primeros Juegos Olímpicos Juveniles Singapore 2010, evento magno e importante, que demuestra el poder que la voz juvenil unida tiene a nivel mundial.

“Fue un evento histórico para el mundo y demostró que Singapore es un gobierno abierto a ideas nuevas, clave para el éxito”.
Hizo un llamado a los jóvenes Chiapanecos, para que se den cuenta de que las oportunidades están al alcance de todos, solo es cuestión de ir por ellas.

“Fallar es parte del aprendizaje y si uno no falla, uno no aprenderá nunca; espero que en la siguiente conferencia que tomará lugar en Londres, haya de nuevo al menos un mexicano representando, y que mejor que un Chiapaneco”.

Finalmente agradeció a sus padres el Ingeniero Eliseo Velázquez Butrón y a su mamá Iris Aguilar de Velázquez, y a su hermana Licenciada Iris Velázquez Aguilar por haber creído en sus capacidades personales.

Extracted from the Mexican Newspaper online: (http://www.elsoldechiapas.com.mx/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=9408&Itemid=27)

Global Scholars & Leaders Conference 2010 on 逗号.

2010-08-25T22:37:00.000+08:00

Global Scholars & Leaders Conference 2010 extract from 逗号 newspaper.

Spirit of the Youth Olympics Games.

2010-08-23T01:06:00.011+08:00

Spirit of the Youth Olympics Games.

The pure, the beautiful, the bright,
That stirred our hearts in youth,
The dreams of love and truth,
The strivings for better hopes
This is a call for these youths
Who have no intention of becoming prisoners of their own limitations.
Those who are called dream catchers of their youth.

It has been a tremendously overwhelming time and honour for me to be part of this amazing games. Dedicated to each and everyone who made Singapore 2010 possible:

Reach by Gloria Estefan:

"Some dreams live on in time forever
Those dreams, you want with all your heart
And I'll do whatever it takes,
Follow through, with the promise I made
Put it all on the line
What I hoped for at last would be mine

Some days are meant to be remembered
Those days we rise above the stars
So I'll go the distance this time
Seeing more the higher I climb
That the more I believe
All the more that this dream will be mine

If I could reach, higher
Just for one moment touch the sky
From that one moment in my life.
I'm gonna be stronger
Know that I've tried my very best
I'd put my spirit to the test
If I could reach.
I'd reach, I'd reach so much higher
Be stronger."

This Box inside my head.

2010-07-10T19:20:00.003+08:00

This Box inside my head.

I watch the stars from my window sill
The whole world is moving and I'm standing still
The night is here and the day is gone
And still, the world spins madly on.

And yes, there are days even the canvas of stars at night would fade to gray
We will feel so tired that we probably think we can't take another step
or that we've gone as far as we will ever get
wishing we were someone, somewhere else.
But hey! “Switch off and walk”, says this box inside my head.
Step out into twilight by yourself.

For the only steps that matter are the ones you take all by yourself.
Keep believing in what you want.

Only then will the dark blue night rain flowers and whisky.

Need a dream filled with twisted and twirled kaleidoscope colors.

2010-06-05T19:23:00.003+08:00

Where have my inspiration to write gone? Perhaps it's not so much inspiration, as a NEED to write. I get itchy fidgety and dissatisfied when I haven't blogged for a while. Ideas come to me and needs to be written down but it just haven’t been happening.I need inspiration,I need a song - A beautiful melody ; A dream filled with twisted and twirled kaleidoscope colors to cover and coat myself with.

Weil du liebst, Weil du lebst. Lass die Liebe regieren.

2010-05-24T11:53:00.003+08:00

Lass die liebe regieren by Madsen
"Weil du erinnerst,
weil du vergisst,
weil du verdrängen kannst
und bist, wie du bist
weil du vermisst
und weil du fehlst
weil du zuhörst und erzählst
weil dein Herz laut schlägt
und die Welt sich immer weiter dreht
weil du fällst und immer wieder aufstehst
merkst du, dass es dich gibt

Weil du liebst, weil du lebst
Weil du gibst, und vergibst
Weil du liebst, weil du lebst
Weil du glühst und vergehst
Wirst du geliebt, lass es passieren
Lass die Liebe regieren

Weil du weißt, woher du kommst
Was du gegeben hast
Und genommen
Weil purer Hass auf Dauer traurig macht
Und das Leben viel mehr zu bieten hat
Weil wir mit uns kämpfen
Und eil wir uns brauchen
Weil wir uns helfen
Und an uns glauben
Weil es wahre Freundschaft gibt

Weil du liebst, weil du lebst
Weil es dich nur einmal gibt."

Let love rule (English translation)
" Because you remember
Because you forget
Because you can push it out of your mind
And because you are like you are
Because you miss
And because you are missing
Because you listen and tell
Because your heart beats loudly
And the world cirlces on and on
Because you fall and always get up again
You realize that you exist

Because you love, because you live
Because you give and forgive
Because you love, because you live
Because you glow and vanish
You are loved, let it happen
Let love rule

Because you know where you come from
What you've given
And taken
Because pure hatred makes sad in the long run
And life has so much more to give
Because we fight with each other
And because we need each other
Because we help each other
And believe in each other
Because true friendship exists

Because you love, because you live
Because you only exist once"

To be fully alive is to feel that everything is possible.

2010-05-21T00:35:00.002+08:00

Life is filled with so many exciting twists and turns.
Hop off the straight and narrow whenever you can and take the winding paths.
It's all about timing;
The unreachable becomes reachable,
The unavailable become available;
The unattainable... attainable.
Have the patience, wait it out.

Life can be like a roller coaster...
And just when you think you've had enough,
and your ready to get off the ride and take the calm, easy merry-go round...
You change your mind, throw you hands in the air
and ride the roller coaster all over again.

Experience the exhilaration of the view from the edge.
Because the moments spent there is what that takes your breath away and make you feel truly alive.

Don't rely on someone else for your happiness and self worth.
Only you can be responsible for that.
If you can't love and respect yourself - no one else will be able to make that happen.
Accept who you are - completely;
the good and the bad;
make changes as YOU see fit - not because you think someone else wants you to be different.

"This is me! I look the way I look, think the way I think, feel the way I feel, love the way I love!

I am a whole complex package.
Take me... or leave me.
Accept me - or walk away!
Do not try to make me feel like less of a person, just because I don't fit your idea of who I should be and don't try to change me to fit your mold.
If I need to change, I alone will make that decision."

When you are strong enough to love yourself 100%- good and bad, you will be amazed at the opportunities that life presents you.

To be fully alive is to feel that everything is possible.

Kal Ho Naa Ho

2010-04-21T19:54:00.003+08:00

"Har ghadi badal rahi hai roop zindagi
Chhaaon hai kabhi kabhi hai dhoop zindagi
Har pal yahan jeebhar jiyo
Jo hai sama kal ho naa ho"

Life changes its beauty all the time
Sometimes it's a shade, sometimes life is sunlight
Live every moment here to your heart's content
The time that is here may not be tomorrow

Have you got what it takes to be champion?

2010-04-18T21:16:00.001+08:00

Desire; Courage; Talent; Skill; Heart; Focus; Speed; Pride; Endurance; Believe; Power; Honour; Strength;Relentlessness; Grit; Fight; Rivalry; Passion.

Have you got what it takes to be champion?

The River Flows in You.

2010-04-03T23:43:00.001+08:00

Most people are stronger than they know.
They just forget to believe in it sometimes.

In our lives, we are all definitely going to go to some great places and do some wonderful things, whether we like it or not.
There will be a moment that stuns all of us.
A moment that is so brilliant and beautiful.
A moment so incomprehensible and unimaginable, that it might even change your total perception towards the world.

Who knows where it will take you and when will it be?
No one knows.

The road maybe be long or may not be;
But when it happens,
Be brave.
Embrace It.
Savour It.
For you never know if it will return to you for sure.

The River Flows in You.

And When Your Heart Begins to Bleed.

2010-03-14T19:44:00.006+08:00

And When Your Heart Begins to Bleed.

"A man of words and not of deeds
Is like a garden full of weeds,
And when the weeds begin to grow,
It’s like a garden full of snow.
And when the snow begins to fall,
It’s like a bird upon the wall,
And when the bird away does fly,
It’s like an eagle in the sky.
And when the sky begins to roar,
It’s like a lion at the door.
And when the door begins to crack,
It’s like a stick across your back,
And when your back begins to smart,
It’s like a penknife in your heart,
And when your heart begins to bleed,
You’re dead, you’re dead, you’re dead indeed."

Your Heart's Desire.

2010-03-12T22:35:00.000+08:00

Bernard Shaw once wrote: "There are two tragedies in life. One is to lose your heart's desire. The other is to gain. "

Tragedies happen.

What are you gonna do, give up?

Quit? No.

I realize now that when your heart breaks, you got to fight like hell to make sure your still alive. Because you are.

And that pain you feel?

That's life.

The confusion and fear?

That's there to remind you,

that somewhere out there is something better,

and that something is worth fighting for.

As we strain to grasp the things we desire, the things we think will make our lives better: money, popularity, fame...

we ignore what truly matters, the simple things, like friendship, family, love.

The things we probably already had.

Yes, losing your heart's desire is tragic.

But gaining your heart's desire? That's all you can hope for.

Last year I wished to immerse myself in something to wake a heart long afraid to feel. My wish was granted. And if having that is tragic, then give me tragedy. Because I wouldn't give it back for the world.

And Hansel said to Gretel: Let us drop these bread crumbs so that together we find our way home;
Because losing our way would be the most cruel thing.

Losing your way on a journey is unfortunate.
But losing your reason for a journey is way more cruel.
Sometimes I traveled alone.
Sometimes there were others who took the wheel and took my heart.
But when the destination was reached, it was not me who arrived.
It was not me at all.
And once you lose yourself, you have two choices.
Find the person you used to be or lose that person completely.
Because sometimes you have to step outside of the person you have been and remember the person you were meant to be.
The person you wanted to be.
The person you are.

You deserve to be happy.

2010-03-11T21:18:00.005+08:00

Take a look at yourself in the mirror;
who do you see looking back?

Is it the person you want to be?
Or is there someone else you were meant to be;
the person you should've been but fell short of?

Is someone telling you can't or won't?
Because you can.

Believe that love is out there.
Believe that dreams come true every day.
Because they do.

Sometimes happiness doesn't come from money or fame or power.
Sometimes happiness comes from good friends and family,
and the quiet nobility of living a good life.

Believe that dreams come true every day;
Because they do.

So take a look in that mirror and remind yourself to be happy-
Because you deserve to be happy.

Believe that.

And believe that dreams come true every day.
Because they do.

Dil Se Re. (From the heart.)

2010-02-22T21:43:00.003+08:00

Dil Se Re.

Ik Suraj Nikla Tha

Kuch Paara Pighala Tha

Ek Aandhi Aayi Thi

Jab Dil Se Aa Nikli Thi
Kaanton Ki Taarein Hain

Patthar Ke Darwaaze Diwaarein
Mithi Si Mushkil Hai Na
Dil To Aakhir Dil Hai Na

Gam Dil Ke Paksh Chulbulein Hain

Paani Ke Ye Bulbule Hai
Dil Hai To Phir Dard Hoga

Dard Hai To Dil Bhi Hoga

(English translation: From the heart.)

The Sun Had Come Out

The Temperature Had Dropped
A Whirlwind Kicked Up

Just As A Cry Shot Forth From The Heart

Chains Of Thorns

Doors And Walls Of Stone
It's A Sweet Hardship

After All, A Heart Is Only A Heart

The Heart's Miseries Are Fleeting

Like Bubbles Of Water

If You Have A Heart, You'll Know Pain In Your Lifetime

And If You Feel Pain, It Will Be Because You Have A Heart

Soul-U-tion.

2010-02-08T22:19:00.000+08:00

Sometimes I wonder if anything is absolute anymore.
Is there still right and wrong?
Good and bad?
Truth and lies?
Or is everything negotiable, left to interpretation, grey?
Sometimes were forced to bend the truth?
to transform it because we are faced with things that are not of our own making.
And sometimes, things simply catch up with us.

I know I can choose to blame my circumstances on fate or bad luck or bad choices.
Or I could just fight back.

Things aren’t always going to be fair in the real world.
That’s just the way it is.
But for the most part, I will try to get what I give.
Rest of my life is being shaped right now...
...With the dreams I chase...
….The choices I make...
….and the person Idecide to be...
The rest of MY life is a long time. And the rest of MY life starts right now.

Stepping up. Pushing back.

2010-02-07T14:12:00.004+08:00

Stepping up. It's a simple concept. It basically means to rise above yourself; to do a little more, to show you something special. Something like this.

Life's funny sometimes; You know it's been said that we just don't recognize the significant moments of our lives while they're happening. We grow complacent with ideas, or things or people and we take them for granted and it's usually not until that thing is about to be taken away from you that you've realized how wrong you've been that you realized how much you need it, how much you love it.

A beautiful quote that swirls through my head from Gandhi, “Be the change you wish to see in the world.” If we wish to have a peace in whatever we do or long to have a better life, I believe it all starts from within. Find what you truly want, and not just the outside superficial “stuff”, the house, the car, the money……..what is your driving force? What can you contribute to the world around you?

You ever heard the expression 'The best things in live are free.' ? Well that expression is true.' Every once in a while, people step up they rise above themselves sometimes they surprise you and sometimes they fall short. Life is funny sometimes. It can push pretty hard but if you look close enough, you can find hope in the words of the people around you, in the bars of the song and in the eyes of someone you love.

" When opporunity knocks, always answer the door." (jack & the beanstalk 1974)
But…
"Not every knock on the door is an opportunity; It maybe just be someone who mixed the doors up" (Ellen Zimmermann, 2011)

There's a light at each end of every tunnel.

2010-02-06T22:26:00.002+08:00

Life is a beautiful journey;

And if something seems so impossible for a moment in time,

I always need to remind mysef that I can choose a better feeling.

There is a sentence I’ve kept with me all these years so poignantly:

“There's a light at each end of every tunnel.”

Breathe! Just Breathe :)

Song beneath a song.

2010-01-22T18:17:00.001+08:00

Cryptic words meander
Now there is a song beneath the song
One day you'll learn
You'll soon discern its true meaning
An interesting detachment
A listless poem of love sincere
Desire, despair
Overlapping melodies

Oh now the roots are reminiscing
Recurring dreams of minor chords
Metred time
Muted chimes find the beat

And in the pulse there lies conviction
A steady push and pull routine
The cymbals swell
High notes flail into reach

2009 in a nutshell :)

2009-12-20T21:39:00.010+08:00

2009 in a nutshell.

Closing my eyes and looking back on the year 2009, it’s been overwhelmingly good beyond what words could describe. Even right now as I’m typing, million of vivid memories are flying through my head.

I don't know if I continue, even today, always liking myself. But what I learned to do this year was really to forgive myself. It is very important for every human being to forgive herself or himself because if you live, you will make mistakes- it is inevitable.

But once you do and you see the mistake, then you forgive yourself and say, 'well, if I'd known better I'd have done better,' that's all. So you say to people who you think you may have injured, 'I'm sorry,' and then you say to yourself, 'I'm sorry.' If we all hold on to the mistake, we can't see our own glory in the mirror because we have the mistake between our faces and the mirror; we can't see what we're capable of being.

You can ask forgiveness of others, but in the end the real forgiveness is in one's own self. I think that these days people are so caught by the way they see themselves.

Now mind you. When a larger society sees them as unattractive, as threats, as too black or too white or too poor or too fat or too thin or too sexual or too asexual, that's rough. But you can overcome that. The real difficulty is to overcome how you think about yourself. If we don't have that we never grow, we never learn, and sure as hell we should never teach.

Oki fine, so in a nutshell to round up this year, there are so many things I would love to give thanks for. All the opportunities kept flowing in my life so unpredictably giving me experiences that could never explained with just words. But let me try to jott down in pt form from what i can remember:

 FINA World Swimming Coaches Conference
 Ironman Langkawi & Half Ironman Singapore 2009, Standard Chartered Marathon
 Executive Committee for Global Youth Conference 2010
 Sports Climbing Kakis Climb to Mt Ophir/Malacca/ Batu Caves
 Asian Youth Games 2009 Sports Presenter (Swimming)
 Youth Olympic Games 2010 Sports Presenter (Triathlon)
 OSIM International Triathlon Assistant Swim Chief & Emcee. Champion for OD Team Relay.
 International Triathlon Union Level 1 Coach
 Ride of Silence
 1 month European escapade (Vienna, Krakow, Munich Amsterdam, and Berlin) to meet all the people who mattered to me and graciously hosted me in their own hometowns. Special thanks to Anne, Monika, Annewil, Sergei & Tlly 2 German words that I pretty much believed at the in 2009 and actually carried out was Liebe Reist= Love travels. Indeed love does travel only if you want it to.
 The experience to hang out with some of the most humbled and honourable Olympic swimmers during the FINA Swimming World Cup and catching up with Svetlana, Fabiola and the rest of the Russian team
 23rd birthday spent doing a 2.3km swim, 23km cycle, 2.3km + Wavehouse surfing
 Drunk cable skiing escapades to Batam :D
 Split a finger tendon badly, fractured a ring finger & got whiplashed- but all is good! :D

These crystallised memories that sparkle my life are gonna be embedded in my heart for eternity.

So as for now till the 2010, before heading off to Bali next Friday to spend my splendid Christmas and New year with Thomas, I would like to thank everyone who has made this year special for me in someway or another- A BIG FAT HUG & A SMOOCHY WOOCHY KISSY FROM ME!

2009-11-21T22:33:00.000+08:00

Achievement is largely the product of steadily raising one's level of aspiration and expectation. The difference between ordinary and extraordinary is that little extra. He who wants it the most wins!

Youth Olympic Games Sports Presenters Media Launch

2009-10-23T12:32:00.003+08:00

Youth Olympic Games Sports Presenters Media Launch
http://whyohgee.wordpress.com/2009/10/23/yog-sports-presenters-unveiled/

2009-10-20T20:08:00.001+08:00

None but Jesus!

2009-05-30T00:54:00.005+08:00

"You have granted me life and favour, and Your care has preserved my spirit."--Job 10:12

Ever been totally mentally exhausted and physically drained out one day and suddenly just a single song could change all of whatever youre feeling in a second?

Well right now now, i just experienced it: None but Jesus. Upon hearing this song, it brought meaning back into my life.

"...In the quiet
In the stillness
I know that You are God
In the secret of Your presence
I know there I am restored..

...In the chaos in confusion
I know You're sovereign still
In the moment of my weakness
You give me grace to do Your will...

All my delight is in You Lord
All of my hope
All of my strength
Forever more...."

Yes, I wouldnt disagree that I had lost myself since i left church a year and half ago- the amount of vulgarities, drunkardness and a drastic change in my lifestyle... but honestly the only person who did not depart from me was the Prince of my life, Jesus... none but Jesus. Pretty succinct and to the point: I love Jesus and I know He loves me too. He's the reason that I had, will and will forever live for. Truly, i say all the vast and gracious tides of my successes happened without a doubt because of His everlasting love and favour poured on me.

Don't Lose Sight of things that matter!

2009-05-11T10:26:00.003+08:00

For the longest time I have just been trying to find a way to impact the society in a simple manner by wanting to raise the awareness of cycling safety on Singapore roads- especially with the increasing death tolls in the recent years. Thankfully I was exceedingly abundantly blessed with an oppurtunity yesterday morning, to meet the press in view of the upcoming Ride of Silence campaign; to commemorate accident victims(injured or killed) cyclists worlddwide.

So what i learnt is: the next time you feel too busy to think, understand the decision you are making. You’re making a decision to focus on things that may not make any difference at all. You may end up working endlessly on something that just doesn’t matter. You may need to ditch ideas and projects if they aren’t contributing to making an impact. We all have the desire to matter, make sure you don’t lose sight of the importance of doing what matters.

Okie, so well... A summary of my life since my last blog is: Life has been sweet as sugar! Im all pumped up to host the 2 big "events"..and hoping to win a big "prize".These past 2 weekends cableskiing in batam, indonesia with my crazy wacky friends was also a blast beyond description. Climbing has been a great sanity saver but my middle finger (torn tendon) is still acting up here and there. Yes, I have been drinking alot with friends, its definitely fun but i think its time for me to put a точка to it in prep for July's Ironman 70.3 Putrajaya (Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia) and next years May St. Polten(Austria)! Weee-har!!

Apart from that.. yes... i am gonna be sad that Monya is going back to poland but i believe love does travel and so would i;)!XOXO!

My life that is immeasurably wonderful & beautiful beyond my wildest imagination!

2009-04-26T15:29:00.003+08:00

O.M.Friggin.G! This week my world seems immeasurably wonderful and beautiful beyond my wildest imagination. Never, never, never could I understand what is happening. Never beforehand have i felt like this. Life indeed Can be GREAT-- its actually quite God-like. It can be so!

Yes, okie... even with this goodness happening I do also have a lil space left to fill up in my heart. Goodbyes are really not my forte. I am really gonna miss Anne and Yawa's presence in the climbing kakis. No big sister to bully and "control" me..teaching me "good" behaviour :( Well there is a saying: "Don't be dismayed at goodbyes, a farewell is necessary before you can meet again and meeting again, after moments, is certain for those who are friends.” I will definitely try my bestest to meet you in Austria.. if everthing goes smoothly ;)! To all those who were there at yesterdays party.. Thanks once again for tatooing a collage of all the fuzzy, warm, drunken, jelloeyshotties memories in my heart and mind as always. Love you guys!

To Света: Woohoo... its Russian Nationals for you right now but I am the one sitting on the edge of my seat. Go kick some ass and swim like a shark as usual!!! Go dominate the pool, bag up some medals and have fun in Москвa...Can't wait to hear all the good news from you soon!

Touched by an angel!

2009-04-22T12:45:00.001+08:00

Have you ever had Angels hovering over you? Watching over you?

Feeling the flutter of their powerful wings.
Have you ever felt love in your heart so warm that it gave you a beautiful feeling all over your body ?
This week i was surely touched by an angel.
Life is blissfuly good! जीवन का अच्छा है!

"...Destiny is calling me, open up my eager eyes..."

Climb a montain and explore the forest with the people that matter! Mt Ophir & Malacca Trip;)

2009-04-21T00:32:00.002+08:00

Although I am a very hyperactive and sporty girl up for anything crazy, I had never digged the idea of trekking...but the past weekend, i just had a blissfully rewarding time climbing Mt. Ophir (4187ft abv sea lvl) and touring Malacca with a bunch of the most beautiful people who really matter in my life-my climbing group...Exploring every rock on the way, spending quality time gazing at the stars on a chilly cool nite out in the wilderness, watching the sunrise and sunset to shopping madness in the historic state...what more could i ask for to replace this pleasure and adventure in life?

It was just beautiful to get out there and mess around with my friends, ramble out yonder and explore the forest, climb the mountain, breathe deep of that yet sweet and lucid air, sit quietly for a moment and contemplate the precious stillness, that lovely, mysterious and awesome space. Thanks everyone for making this trip so special to me. Its definitely gonna be embedded in my mind for quite a while;)

A triathletes' pledge: Water, Wind, and Earth; When 3 becomes One!

2009-04-15T11:49:00.003+08:00

A triathletes' pledge:
Water, Wind, and Earth; When 3 becomes One!

by Michelle Verma

Slipping out before its’s bright
To wake them up would not sound right
Shuffling myself into the suit
Comprising gels and all my other goods

What lifts my spirits- makes me whole
Achievements fortifies my soul
I hit the road, life is good
Fierce wind sliced in two;
Riding like an arrow

By those who’ve never trained at dawn
Or used their brain as well as brawn
To push through pain, faitgue and ache
A lifestyle I could not forsake

I shiver at the starting line
And a million thoughts go through my mind
While praying for a decent time
My goal is sudddenly defined

How wonderful to play my part
In this athletic form of art
And dream of height that may not be
But is to me, the epitome
Of who I wanna be.

Occasions are rare and those who know how to seize upon them are rarer!

2009-04-12T22:19:00.000+08:00

I've got a couple of hardcore modus operandis (namely miles in the desert and movement of tectonic plates) on my mind now and ready to act...and truthfully, just by visualising myself taking on these project with an attitude of openess itself motivates me tremendously.

I know im once again gonna be called captain insano by many...but hey... as Josh Billings one said: "occasions are rare and those who know how to seize upon them are rarer." ;)

When you reach the top, keep climbing! Make the most of yourself, for that is all there is of you.

2009-04-11T19:27:00.004+08:00

When you're enjoying life, time definitely flies by.
These 2 weeks i have been having loads of fun but find it hard to find the right expressions for this post.

Lets see... i've been in a state of self reflection and stillness just to observe and note how much goodness have passed and ought to be savored.

Last saturday I had a really nice post ironman party with the people in my life who mattered. Thanks to all who were present. It was one hillariously crazy nite after a very long time off alcohol. I am Impressed at the rate of which we all got drunk and found our ways back home;)

Been sick and drug overdosed due to a bad ear, nose throat infection but have still been obsessively climbing like a sadistic madhatter for the past week (4days back to back)just to deadpoint all the 6B+s ;)I am by far extremely happy with the new grading but have brought home a strained, crooked left middle finger that is purple and swollen to double its size. I reckon i would been flashing it unintentionally at least for the next 3 days. Break for 4 days and this calls for another nice massage tomorrow!

And oh Yes...i've decided to set 3more goals to be reached by the end of this year as the once i planned earlier this year have all been successfully reached.

Well whatever it is, throught much thoughts, when all's said and done, i realised all roads would lead to the same end. So it's not so much which road we take, its how we take it.

I realised i don't really have to rush to get my targets met...coz after i have accomplished it, i come to the point of ..."so what now??!! i am still me...im still human..im still simply michelle verma"- it does'nt make me any outstandingly different from the rest of the world.. however i do sacredly hold my experiences in reaching my goals to make me a better person. The process of reaching it is extraordinaryly astounding and cannot be compared to anything in the world....so i reckon i just gotta keep climbing the ladder of life at a steady pace and hold true to my values.

An amazing excerpt of John Galt’s Oath from Atlas Shrugged, by Ayn Rand

2009-03-31T00:00:00.002+08:00

An amazing excerpt of John Galt’s Oath from Atlas Shrugged, by Ayn Rand

I am the man who loves his life.
I am the man who does not sacrifice his love or his values.
We are on strike against the dogma that the pursuit of one's happiness is evil.-against the doctrine that life is guilt.
You damned man, but never dared to question your code.
Now choose to perish or to learn that the anti-mind is the anti-life.
Men has to be men by choice.
He has owe his life as a value.
He has to discover the values that he requires and type of virtues by choice.

Reason, Purpose, Self-Esteem. Rationality, Independent, Integrity, Honestly, Justice, Productiveness, Pride.

In the name of a return to morality, you sacrificed reason to faith. You have sacrificed wealth to need. You have sacrificed self-esteem to self-denial. You have sacrificed happiness to duty.

Why, then, do you shrink in horror from the sight of the world around you? It is your moral ideal brought into reality –a world without mind.

The world you desired can be won, it exists, it is real, it is possible, it's yours.
But to win it requires your total dedication and a total break with the world of your past, with the doctrine that man is a sacrificial animal who exists for the pleasure of others.

Fight for the value of your person.
Fight for the virtue of your pride.
Fight for the essence of that which is man: for his sovereign rational mind.
Fight with the radiant certainty and the absolute rectitude of knowing that yours is the Morality of Life and that yours is the battle for any achievement, any value, any grandeur, any goodness, any joy that has ever existed on this earth.

You will win when you are ready to pronounce the oath I have taken at the start of my battle—and for those who wish to know the day of my return, I shall now repeat it to the hearing of the world:

"I swear—by my life and my love of it—that I will never live for the sake of another man, nor ask another man to live for mine."

Is life about finding yourself or is it about creating yourself?

2009-03-30T00:00:00.002+08:00

Is life about finding yourself or is it about creating yourself?

Why are we all struggling so hard to find out the true definition of life?

Life is actually preety simple. We all do not want life to be complicated.

I don't know why, but today i was intriguely suprised to feel that we live in a sad, pitiful society that makes it hard for us to live ours lives peacefully.

Its like everyone around us are guilty in finding pleasure by degrading others-telling their peers to stop dreaming big by telling them to be realistic. Honestly, does this make one feel any bigger, bettter and stronger? No! It doesnt.

So then- why do they still do it? Probably it's sheer envy and fear that the other party would be better. And just a tip, they got to remember that sometimes while trying to pull another person down, it may just boost the supposed "victim"'s ego.

Okay, fine~ Ao even I do it somedays..but its just a scary thought...and to know that we can't control it makes it even scarier..but honestly, at least i am openly guilty of it and try to be as frank as possible.

Why can't we just be simply true to ourselves-living our own lives and not stepping on another persons' toe?

Sadly, as hard as we may try to keep aloof and live in our own nutshells, we cant- coz we ARE part of this society- and there is no escape from that till the day we shut our eyes.

I just wanna breathe and breeze through life with an open mind- like a shark swimming in an ocean freely. I wanna take my time and savour such precious and beautiful moments of oppurtunites that life has to offer me. So I really hope that all these people that create such little black clouds and keep lurking around me would vanish and banish as far as possible. I wanna take a walk outside and buy a rainbow smile- as how the stereophonics may put it.

You chose whether or not your heart is open to love.

2009-03-29T13:47:00.004+08:00

They say that love would never kill you- but the internal wounds and hurts from a failed love might just turn fatal as it eats you up inside out and scars you for life. Maybe the last time you really gave your heart to someone it got broken- making it so hard to fall in love again- even harder to mention the shere word itself- therefore we try to run faraway, silencing our heart and gut instincts, never wanting to be caught in the dreaded trap again. Is there realy such a thing as unconditional love-in human stance. And honestly I reckon we chose whether or not our heart is open to love once again.

P.H. White once said: "Perhaps we all give the best of our hearts uncritically, to those who hardly think about us in return".

To the "EXTREMELY SPECIAL" someone!

2009-03-25T09:34:00.004+08:00

It's tragically pathetic and sad that some people have nothing better to do with their lives and therefore love coming up with missions to screw up their own lives. They are probably dissatified and physcoticticly frustrated that they can't get attention from others. Some people are ridiculous beyond belief and immature. My heart truly goes out to them; their torn apart families and warped friends. Maybe they are the cause of complications to this beautiful world of ours. But in whatever case, i am honoured to still be remembered by an "EXTREMELY SPECIAL" someone who is frightfully what i described above. So much time spent on me.. awwwwww...;)

IRONMAN 70.3 SINGAPORE 2009!

2009-03-24T13:28:00.009+08:00

IRONMAN 70.3. Мишель ВЭРМА: SINGAPORE 22nd March 2009

Yes! 1 full Ironman and one 1/2 Ironman within a time frame of 24 days. Another first feat accomplished by a Singaporean. Indeed this month i've been extremely exhaustible and felt battered even before my embarkation of my Ironman 70.3 Singapore, recently on 22nd march. But through this venture i have learnt that by just simply becoming aware of our inner strength and trusting our bodys' survival instincts could bring us such power and energy to carry us through such a gruelling distance. It just never fails to amaze me.

So, It started off with a really wet, thundery day, making me worry about the wet roads for the cycle route.
At the start, the moment I dove in, my googles came loose holding me back a couple of seconds. At the 400m mark of the swim i got a really bad sting by a jellyfish right above my mouth and nose, that disoriented me for a couple of minutes. Thanks to a high pain threshold and a sadistic mind of mine, i managed to swim through the next 1.5km coming out relatively fast from the water and just as i emerged from the water i heard a distinctive voice saying i was in the lead pack- This angelic voice had boosted my motivation level tremendously.

The first bike loop went preety well and as planned but just as i entered my 2nd bike loop, there were sharp jabbing pains on my knees; due to a soft tissue injury and calf inflammation i had gotten 2 weeks ago. To add on to the pain, just 2 nights before that i had a slight concussion from a falling carpark baricade right on my head making it even harder for me to keep my helmet on. As i kept paddling i saw many affected by the sabotage of metal tack on the roads puncturing their tyres and what i saw was sheer determination and willpower for them to be sitting down by the side of the road fixing their flats just to complete their race. This spirit kept me going on and i was lucky enough not to have been affected by the prank.

Yes I knew and thought to myself it wasnt a "brilliant" idea to race injured but my mind was smart enough to have pre-strategized and calculated the intermediate estimated times so that I could come in before the overall cut of time if i just paced myself . Everything in my body was telling me to quit, but i knew that whatever i wanted to achieve was all in the mind.

Doubtlessly, there were countless times i wanted to give up and stop the race, but i knew that just by completing this feat would rank me 3rd in my age group for the ironman 70.3 world series- that was what drove me to the finishing line. In fact, this was my most torturous and depressing race, but all in all I felt that it was the MIND OVER the BODY- vice versa-when we challenge our bodies to do more, in turn it also makes us stronger.

These 2 Ironmans have truly enabled me to explore faraway frontiers of my human potential, and have quipped me with a higher degree of mental focus. I believe I am blessed with these essentials as part of my growing process. So now, with at least for my goals achieved, the I am temporarily retiring...at least for the next 3months.

To all those who were there in full force to support me- Thanks a kazillion. I am truly grateful with all your constant cheers. A big congratulation goes out to all those who completed the race. Anything is possible!

Official timings and rank:

Swim: 0:43:12 Bike: 3:34:40 Run: 3:00:03 Overall: 7:23:00

Rank: 3rd (Females 18-24)

Love Yourself..no matter what.

2009-03-16T11:41:00.001+08:00

This morning I chanced upon a quote and snap...i thought to myself how true it was.

"I must learn to love the fool in me the one who feels too much, talks too much, takes too many chances, wins sometimes and loses often, lacks self-control, loves and hates, hurts and gets hurt, promises and breaks promises, laughs and cries."

наконец, не очарованный ею! Жизнь лучше без осложнений!

No Compromise

2009-03-14T02:09:00.000+08:00

"It doesn't interest me what you do for a living.

I want to know what you ache for, and if you dare to dream of meeting your hearts longing.

It doesn't interest me how old you are.

I want to know if you will risk looking like a fool for love, for your dreams or for the adventure of being alive.

It doesn't interest me what planets are squaring your moon.

I want to know if you have touched the center of your sorrow;

If you have been opened by life's betrayals or have become shriveled and close from fear of further pain.

I want to know if you can sit with pain, mine or your own, without moving to hide it or fade it or fit it.

I want to know if you can be with joy, mine or your own; if you can dance with the wildness and let the "Meatheadedness" fill you to the tips of your fingers and toes without cautioning us to be careful, be realistic, or to remember the limitations of being human.

It doesn't interest me if the story you're telling is true.

I want to know if you can disappoint another to be true to yourself, if you can bear the accusation of betrayal and not betray your own soul.

I want to know if you can be faithful and trustworthy.

I want to know if you can see beauty even when it is not there everyday, and if you can source your life from its presence.

I want to know if you can live with failure, yours and mine, and still shout stand on the edges of a lake, river or mountain and shout to the silver of the full moon.

Yes! I'm a Meathead...

It doesn't interest me to know where you live or how much money you have.

I want to know if you can get up after a night of grief and despair, weary and bruised to the bone, and do what needs to be done for someone you love.

It doesn't interest me where or what or with whom you have studied.

I want to know what sustains you from the inside when all else falls away.

I want to know if you can be alone with yourself, and truly like the company you keep in the empty moments of your life and still remember me...

Live more than your neighbours, unleash yourself upon the world and go places.

Giggle, laugh and bark at the moon like you're a wild dog.

Our lives are not a dressed rehearsal.

This second is it; It never comes back.

Face your fears and live your dreams. Take it all in.

Yes, every chance of it.

Come close. I am an Ironman!"

John Blais 1971-2007

Post Ironman: Right Place, Right Time

2009-03-13T11:01:00.001+08:00

2 weeks have passed since conquering my IRONMAN dream. Honestly, till today im extremely estatic about my new status and am humbled by the experience. Many have been congratulating me endlessly and i'm sincerely thankful for each one of them.

I was just thinking about my actions in life and realised that it could be reduced to probably just two factors: my positioning and timing. If we are not in the right place at the right time, we cannot possibly take advantage of what life has to offer us. Almost anything is appropriate if an action is in accord with the time and the place. Sometimes we tend not notice the moment when our lives presents an opportunity. I was just lucky to have seized mine. I would never ever have changed it for the world;)

"If you can imagine it,you can achieve it; if you can dream it, you Can become it!"

IRONMAN. Мишель ВЭРМА: Malaysia, Langkawi 28 February 2009

2009-03-08T17:06:00.004+08:00

IRONMAN. Мишель ВЭРМА: Malaysia, Langkawi 28 February 2009

My journey to the starting line of IRONMAN Malaysia, Langkawi started about month ago. As a hyperactive and adrenaline driven girl, I always had one ultimate dream to achieve in my sporting life and that was to complete the gargantuan task of running a full 26 mile marathon after swimming 2.4 miles and biking 112 miles.

Being a qualified sports science student and a triathlon/swim coach for a couple of years now, I always understood the importance of training, nutrition and so on but unfortunately I was never the kind of athlete that was discipline enough to keep up to the regimental training. Many of my peers came up to me and taunted me that I was not physically ready and to top it of I did not have much experience to go into this hardcore adventure I had in mind; since I had only completed one ½ IRONMAN at the age of 20-just to years back; where I was then ranked fourth.

To make matters worst, I received news 4 months ago from my chiropractor that I had a misalligned pelvic causing both my knees to often have sharp pains after long runs. He advised me to stop running for 3 months and because of that I had withdrew from the IRONMAN in Western Australia last December.

But early this year as I searched the net and was spurred on my best friends to register for the race. I gazed upon the racesite continuously and there i foundout that it was deemed the 2nd hardest race course in the whole Ironman series. As i loved sadistic challenges, my eyes was automatically set upon conquering it. With the support of my other close rock climbing friends and family and a month of pre race registration jitters; it took me a gruelling month before finally clicking on the entry submission; I was in a blink of an eye, one step closer to my IRONMAN dream. It was deemed the hardest because of the sheer blistering heat of 43 degrees Celsius and its steep, undulating and technical hills.

Thanks to my very persistent and stubborn attitude, I decided to bypass my chiro and physio and had pressed on with my minimal training, however with extreme care for my knees. In my mind, I always knew that completing an Ironman was always possible but also understood that careful, realistic and strategic planning was crucial. Prior to the race, I had planned up my estimated swim, cycle and run cut off times and also my nutrition intake pre, post and during the competition.

My IRONMAN game plan was simply to: Hope for the Best, Plan for the Worst and expect the Unexpected.

Saturday February 2009 was race day- my heart was pounding but I was all set to go. It started out with a nice warm 3.8km swim at Kuah Bay that gave me a good position with the lead pack and kept me fresh for the transition onto the 180km-bike course. The bike course was critical and I had started off on the wrong foot by losing my essential sodium pills and 2 gel bars for my estimated 8-hrs bike ride. By the 2nd loop I broke into tears at the bottom of the cursed hill and was having the thoughts of DNF-ing. In my head there were just so many things were going on.Not only were the hills torturous but late into the bike, a storm brewed and the wet roads made it harder during the sharp downhill turns. Crosswinds were also a factor that made the route more treacherous. I was just thinking about the end goal. I knew for the fact that if one of the elite Japanese girls in my age group would drop out, I had a chance of a podium finish. With that in mind and heaps of motivation from my fantastic support crew, I had pressed onto the run.

Into transition, I fuelled up and had started walking cum jogging the marathon, which left my knees totally busted by the end of the race. I tried to keep focus as I paced myself with different groups of people from different countries but ended up taking over many of them. At the 5th loop of my marathon one of my fellow peers and veteran ironman told me that I could hit a sub 16hrs if I had kept the pace, I just smiled back at him as I overtook him and told him that it would be a blessing for me just to finish my race in once piece.

Initially, my mind was only set upon completion but I was just blessed to be ranked 4th in my Age Group and am now officially the youngest female Singaporean to complete the Ironman-the pilgramage to all triathletes- Entering the Pearly gates. The moment when you know that there is nothing in this world that cand stop you or hold you back; where every depressive thought in your mind melts away.

All Glory to God! With HIM, ALL things are Possible!

Official timings:
Swim: 1: 13:58 Bike: 8:13:58 Run: 6:26:43 Overall: 16:03:09

Unfolding the beauty of life.

2009-02-23T01:08:00.000+08:00

Without realising it, our life moves on;

Whether we act as cowards or heroes.

Life has no other discipline to impose,

if we would but realize it,

than to accept life unquestioningly.

Everything we shut our eyes to,

Everything we run away from,

Everything we deny, denigrate or despise;

serves to defeat us in the end.

What seems nasty, painful, evil, can become a source of beauty, joy, and strength;

If faced with an open mind.

Every moment is a golden one for him who has the vision to recognize it as such.

Soaring on Wings of Eagles!

2009-02-22T01:27:00.001+08:00

The day is done and now in the darkness;

a new day starts but for the first time after weeks

I feel like an eagle in the midst of his flight;

soaring high above the ground;

parting the clouds with its gigantic yet tireless wings-

reminding me of my regained sense of freedom.

Its like a bird let out from its cage.

To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment!

2009-02-18T11:06:00.003+08:00

All my life I had been looking for something, and everywhere I looked someone tried to tell me what it was.
I always tried to accept their answers though they were often in contradiction and even self-contradictory.
I was naive.
I was looking for myself and asking everyone except myself questions which I, and only I could answer.
It took me a while and much painful boomeranging of my expectations to achieve a realization everyone else appears to have been born with: That I am nobody but myself!

I am Me. In all the world, there is no one else exactly like me. Everything that comes out of me is authentically mine, because I alone chose it -- I own everything about me: my body, my feelings, my mouth, my voice, all my actions, whether they be to others or myself. I own my fantasies, my dreams, my hopes, my fears.

I own my triumphs and successes, all my failures and mistakes.
Because I own all of me, I can become intimately acquainted with me.
By so doing, I can love me and be friendly with all my parts.
I know there are aspects about myself that puzzle me, and other aspects that I do not know -- but as long as I am friendly and loving to myself, I can courageously and hopefully look for solutions to the puzzles and ways to find out more about me.
However I look and sound, whatever I say and do, and whatever I think and feel at a given moment in time is authentically me.
If later some parts of how I looked, sounded, thought, and felt turn out to be unfitting, I can discard that which is unfitting, keep the rest, and invent something new for that which I discarded.
I can see, hear, feel, think, say, and do. I have the tools to survive, to be close to others, to be productive, and to make sense and order out of the world of people and things outside of me. I own me, and therefore, I can engineer me. I am me, and I am Okay.

"To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment!" -Ralph Waldo-

2009-02-17T04:58:00.002+08:00

People ask me how come I smile so much.

Well, I just tell them its a long story

but its very simple at the same time.

Honestly its very hard to smile sometimes in life through the things that happen that we dont know and we don't understand why its there and if we 're gonna get through it.

We go through storms in our lives and we don't know how long the storm is gonna be.

Its a lie to think I'm not good enough
Its a lie to think I'm not worth anything,

Coz my name is engraved on the heart of my everloving God!

"Everyone needs compassion,
Love that's never failing;
Let mercy fall on me.

Everyone needs forgiveness,
....
...He can move the mountains,
My God is Mighty to save

....So take me as You find me,
All my fears and failures,
Fill my life again.

I give my life to follow
Everything I believe in,
Now I surrender..."

-Hillsong Australia, 2008: Mighty to Save-

2009-02-16T12:13:00.002+08:00

I might have been broken down,
my body might be bruised
I feel the stone set in my eye
I see the thorn twist in my side
but i aint gonna give up.
I believe love would come back around
I see a light that is shining down to rescue me!
Through the storm I believe i would reach the shore...soon!

2009-02-15T11:46:00.003+08:00

There once lived a little girl that tried to do all the right things....
The little girl was always hiding behind a mask....
Constantly livng her life as if it was a never ending a masquerade party.... .

With lights flashing and shining into her eyes,

she glows like the starry skies above.

Yes, she was a star at the party-thats for sure

Aren't you thinking how lucky it would be to be her?

Well thats because, no one knew what went on in the puney head of hers...
and probably no one would ever know...
coz she herself doesnt.

And she knows that the lights that flash would one day fade away.

2009-02-14T01:20:00.002+08:00

Why is it that we don't always recognize the moment love begins,
but we always recognize the moment it ends?
If love is so wonderful to give and of course.. to receive,

why do we allow ourselves to allow outside influences to get us down?

So much for the dysfunctional word called L.O.V.E.
Happy Valentines?!

2009-02-12T00:04:00.000+08:00

"Sometimes it seems like you are the only one in the world who's struggling,
who's frustrated, unsatisfied, barely getting by.
But that feeling's a lie.
And if you just hold on,
just find the courage to face it all for another day,
someone or something will find you and make it all okay.
Because we all need a little help sometimes-someone to helps us hear the music in their world,

to remind us that it won't always be this way.
That someone is out there.
And that someone will find you."

2009-02-11T19:08:00.004+08:00

How many special people change?
How many lives are living strange?

Please tell me I’m just feeling tired
'cause if it's more than that, I fear that I might break
Out of touch out of time
My signals are mixed
Exhale
Another wasted breath
Again it goes unnoticed

All the roads I walk are winding
And all the lights that lead me there are blinding
There are many things that I would like to say
But I don't know how

I'll wait until tomorrow
Maybe I'll feel better then
I can't bear these nights of thoughts.
When you are rock bottom, things can only getbetter right?
So, i am sure to expect great things to come my way!
Here's to better days. Cheers!

2009-02-10T23:57:00.000+08:00

Here, in this life we can chose to be anything we want.
And I think that is what scares us.
I think something that scares me- is only myself.

We always promise ourselves never to give up and to stay alive as long as it takes.
We scream just enough to be heard by ourselves.

Well I have decided: I would want to remembered as a lad who had a wonderful time living life to the fullest-every second of it, a lad who had good friends, fine family, ever loving God - and I don't think I could ask for anything more than that, actually.

2009-02-03T01:41:00.004+08:00

Climber-holics: "In life, it's really a blessing to find something that you love to do and to be able to do it. But to find people to do it with, to share the same goal with, the same pain and joy, happiness and frustration, can never be replaced by anything else in the world"

* PS Ich werden dich vermissen..very much! Like a faint heartbeat-some emotions don't make a lot of noise. And pure love - why, some days it's so quiet, you don't even know it's there. Liebe reist!

2009-02-02T21:12:00.009+08:00

Did you ever wonder what it would be like if you weren't you anymore? My head is in a mess now. So many things going around and so little time to take a control of them.

They say we leave this world just the way we came into it ---- naked and alone.
So, if we do leave with nothing,
What then, is a measure of a life ?
Is it defined by the people we choose to love ?
Or is life simply measured by our accomplishments ?
And what if we fail ?
or we are never truly loved ?
What then ?
Can we ever measure up ?
Or will the quiet desperation of life want to drive us mad ?

All I can say is Frieden, Liebe und Freude! I think in the midst of this new hectic year I fell in love and gave a piece of my heart to someone.

If you think this post is depressive than you are highly mistaken... there is just too many AWESOME stuff happening in my life also but am not quite in the mood to blog about those stuff today....however, I will do just that.... soon.

2009-01-25T00:10:00.004+08:00

With every day that passed since the new year started, so many awesome yet incredibly unbelievable things have been happening in my life. I've been discovering something new bout myself preety much every day. It seems that there is just so much difference in my life now- for the better that is. So many things are going on in my heart and mind. Obviously not everything is sweet and smooth flowing all the time but i am savouring every second of it. Thank You Lord. For all those who matter to me- Thank you so much..especially the "special two"- you know who u are. I love you both!

2009-01-18T12:30:00.002+08:00

FINA 1st World Swimming Coaches Conference 2009

15-17th January 2009

Marina Mandarin Singapore

2008-12-29T11:56:00.001+08:00

With less than 3 days to go before the new year, I was just spending some time reflecting on this year and coming up with some ideas to head into 2009.

The past year was one of the most invigorating and enjoyable, sometimes exhausting year- but I am extremely thankful for every second of it.

The outlook for my first half of 2009 is rather positive but I will be looking out for whatever crazy opportunities are on the horizon and what pitfalls to avoid.

Here's to everyone who have made an impact in my life and made this year so memorable...you know who you are! CHEERS darlings- Love you!

For the rest of you guys: Have a Merry Christ filled Christmas and Happy Holidays and enjoy time with those you love.

To end off, Har Borland one said: "The years end is neither an end nor a beginning, but a going on, with all the wisdom that experience can instill in us."

2008-12-03T09:53:00.007+08:00

Each birthday is a new awakening. Each birthday is a new hope. Each birthday is a new promise. Each birthday is a new fulfilment.

This birthday for me was just filled with the very presence of my inner soul-child glowing in happiness. Thanks you Lord for EVERYTHING...especially for few months that led up to this day.

1st December 2008:
Thanks to every single one who remembered this day and for all your wishes. I am deeply touched.

Started of my day with 1(22) km cycle around singapore on my own while reviewing my Goals for 2009 and thanking God for 2008.

Had the most purrfeectttt evening at Klee@Portsdowns (over the awesomnest chocolatey cholcolate cake and couple of cocktails accompanied with michy's piano playing. The ambiance was rather chilled, classy and jazzy) ... followed by dinner at clarke quay (where monya and myself danced like crazy people in the middle of the water fountain all dressed up). This nite spent with the 3 of the people that matter to me the most in life (apart from my family): Monika.B.Z, Ony and Michy. Itwas honestly just a refreshing experience for me and I would'nt have changed a single second of the night for the world. Thanks for being there and sharing this special day with me. Such a pity someone else was not there.
All i can say guys: love ya love ya love ya (X millionkazillion times) Peace, Love and Joy babayes!
Heres something from me to the people that matter (esp Monika.B.Z):

Sometimes we take for granted the people in our lives that mean the most to us.
I want to tell you how much you guys being in my life does for me every day in so many ways...especially "YOU"

I never imagined when we first met,
that someday you would be
such an important part of my life.
That in my life full of faults and foibles,
You show immeasurable love to me and accept me for the way I am.

You are one of the few people I can trust
to let see those secret places in my soul,
that most people will never see
or even realize are there.

You know the difference between
when I am just blue and feeling overwhelmed,
and when my life is really going cuckoos.
But you are also
the first person I want to call
when something good happens.
When I have a new idea
I want to share my creativity,
with the person who always has faith in me

You are the true soulmate I never had.
and I value the hours we have spent
Both laughing and crying together. (really dangerous night climbing date; 28.11.2008))
But the thing that I thank God for every day of my life is that he gave another chance of life to my wonderful loving 'wife' like you. (18 November 2008).

*ps. I'm gonna miss doing crazy stuff with you for 1 month! Have a great time in Poland and climb the Alps for me! One thing for sure is that we are still gonna keep in touch every single day...even if there is no reception on the mountains!Its called the M&M telepathy muaxkkkzzz!

2008-11-23T13:36:00.008+08:00

Today marks exactly 1 yr of the dragonboat tradegy's. Reuben Kee! you are deeply missed by us.
2 nights ago my 2+yrs old student Jillian Lee passed away peacefully after struggling wih cancer.
Its just really ironic . The meaning of life and death.

Right now there are just so many keywords flying around my mind. The past week was probably one of the bestest weeks of my life, yet traumatising but i am not regretting one single bit of it.

Ms Monika.B.Z I love you to bits.

..nothing explains the connetion wifey!

I am dumbfounded and can't find any words t describe my feeling and emotions today. All i can say is that i am tired but blissfully happy- smiling to myself. Thank you Lord! PEACE, LOVE JOY! Right place and Right time.;)'

Yesterday climbing kakis picnic cum Jan's farewell dinner at East Coast parkway was really really something subtle that i neede to ease my mind on a nice busy weeked. The Triathlon Technical Official Course for the Youth Olympic Games also went preetty well. Tecently just been really blessed to have been able to work with Triathlon Association of Singapore to reach out to youths for the upcoming YOG 2010. :D

Last weeks Batu Caves trip is something i would definitely not have missed for the world. It is something that would be engraved in my heart for a longlong time to come. It's surprising how much of memory is built around things unnoticed at the time.

My new ride arrived a week ago and its a beauty!What more can I ask for. The new HED 3 wheels would be arriving in December. But hey IronMan can wait coz priorities change:D In the mean time i am saving some money for my Russia trip and other bike accessories.

2 things that im ooglin at now - AHEM for those who keep aking me what i wat for my bday:

Oakley Women's Radar - Bright Pink/ Grey.(http://getanoakley.blogspot.com/) or Livestrong Radar
Giro Advantage Cyling Helmet (http://www.giro.com/site/#/product/cycling/race/advantage2/) something that suits my bike colour scheme
Adidas Tri Sprint Shoes (http://www.trisports.com/adtrisptrsh.html) US Sz 7?
Semi Acoustic Gibson/Epi Guitar

Geez! Its my 22nd bday next week. Yes, there were so many things i wanted to do last year and i'm affirmative tis year the list is gonna multiply...but...As for now, i am just gonna try to slow down in life; live breath and learn.

2008-11-09T02:35:00.003+08:00

It's amazing how one person could impact your life in just a short span of time.

Svetlana Karpeeva- You're my Olympic champ and a hero in my eyes;) Your spirit, fire and passion for swimming has once again inspired me get a grip of my recently given up dream. I am truly honored and privileged to have been able to see you in action and chat up with you last week. These memories will not be easily forgotten. Love ya to bits and am missing you! Had a ball of a time with you and George at Sentosa and the zoo;) All the best at the FINA World Cup in Moscow these 2days.. can't wait for you to come back to Singapore next year;) Thanks for the Cheburashka! Reminds me alot of myself!

"Name a wish, place it in your heart.

Anything you want, everything you want.

Do you have it?

Good.

Now believe it can come true.

You never know when the next miracle can come from,

the next smile, the next wish.

But if you believe that it right around the corner.

And you open your heart and mind to the possibility of it, to the serenity of it.

You just may get the thing your are wishing for.

The world is full of magic you just have to believe it.

So make your wish.

Do you have it?

Good.

Now believe in it with all you heart."

The FINA Swimming World Cup was really an eye opener. Yeah i was sorta a Russian team fanatic thanks to the influence of my 3 close russian friends. Got to meet Sergei Geybel too and I gotta tell you he is one funny, cool funky dude. Outstanding swimmer yet humble! To be seated there watchin Olympians swim and in the company of entertaining people- it can't get any better;)

Halloween with the Climbing Kakis was also a blast. Chris Lindner was in town and everyone was sporting enough to actually dress up and make the event a success. Tilly was also in Singapore for a couple of days 2 weeks ago. After much deterence i finally gave into the temptation of drinkin alcohol once again on Halloween with George, Monika and Tilly- this time round with a fully self controlled form.

All i can say is that everything have been going smoothly. I have decided to postpone my studies to next year while i focus on gettin my driving licence and really LIVE MY LIFE doing some crazy things and EXPERIENCING things not normaly people would. I NEED SOME ADRENALINE! Even working hours these days have been preety flexi and the staff gathering have really been gelling us together preety tightly.

This weekend has been rather fruitful. Apart from climbing and extracting, I am glad to see that George is opening up and he is actually a preety awesome russian dude. Just Friday night we went out for a rather chilled-laid back dinner, coffee and ice cream at Orchard then Dempsey when i realised that he is getting noisier- Which is totally cool. I am also really thankful for my new found friend- i think im gonna sorta be like her 7 yrs from now. Monika.B- You know you're a really strong girl with a tremendous charasmatic character that i totally admire.;) Cheers!

Just yesterday was Michy Wongs' birthday and I am really thankful that stuff between us have been much better thnan before;). Had a good couple of hours at the park with a lil cake and her 2 huge handsome huskies. Glad she liked the prezzie;) After that was movie time! Caught Saw 5 with George and had a long walk home with a warm cuppa coffee that was spilling along the way. 8 more hours for climbing. Im totally burnt from this afternoons' run training. Its been 3 months since i did my last cardio trainng. Yea. The month, weeks and days are gettin better and more fruitful.

Hallelujah! My new mean machine (Brand New P2C 2008 Durace!) is arriving in 2 weeks time and its time to climb in Batu Caves/ KL-Malaysia next weekend! Hip Hip Hurray! That leaves me with a big hole in my bank account. Bleargghhh.. Driving theory starts next week too:(

2008-10-22T21:50:00.002+08:00

Recently its been hard with all the craziness happening, but i have realised what matter is that this life we live gives us with the power to choose what we want to do and to do it well and honestly to love it to the fullest and make ourselves happy. I'm at a place in my life right now where I'm very blessed and content-having a solid and ever reliable God in my life.

Upcoming and Past Highlights:

Can't wait to climb tomolo with the kakis, michy and sam.
Sunday climb @ dairy farm.
ROCKTOBER festival with climbing kakis this Friday
Aquduckies Get to gether at the Banus's
30th Oct: Halloween Climb with Chris Lindner coming down all the way from USA to climb at the gym in the midst of our costume parade:D
FINA Swimming WORLD CUP 1st and 2nd Nov: My dear friend Svetlana Karpeeva from Russia would be in town to swim and i'm really excited to bring her around. Wishing her all the best and hopefully she would go home with a bag full of medals.
Extraction of my wisdom tooth.
Michy Bday on the 8th of November
Batu Caves and Camp 5: Kuala Lumpur 14-16thNov.
30th Nov: Arrival of my new baby: P2C 2008
December: my own bwirtthdayy...darn im gettin older

2008-10-14T00:04:00.000+08:00

These few weeks have just passed smoothly. Yea, looking back at it there were some crazy, scary, good and bad stuff that happened, but all the air was cleared with a couple of laughs, a few good refreshing deep breaths and talks.

So in a nutshell below are some of the pics from my Singapore Panaromal Invesigators nite out to a couple of Cemeteries the past Friday nite. Managed to catcha couple of spirited shots and might be investigating new places with the team soon.

Thy Climbing Kakis 1st Year Anniversary over at Natasha's Place on Saturday- The nite that led me so drunk that i literally had a bathe in my own puke followed by the worst hangover the whole of yesterday. However apart from that I was extremely delighted to be part of the the get together:D Thanks mates;)

So this few weeks are gonna be hectic for me as i get ready to suprise myself either Decemberish- Februarish. I'm also going to have my first natural rock climbing experience next month in Batu Caves for 3 days- so i'm preety excited for that.

2008-10-05T21:07:00.011+08:00

I donno why...but moments ago three burning words was just lurking in my heart just waiting for me to shout it out- but felt kinda strangely weird and unexpected: "Jesus, Sailboat, Hallelujah".

Then suddenly as i was playing my old forsaken electric guitar i was strumming to the song "Hear our praises" and meditated on what i've been going through this year- it became a conversation between me and God.

I always grew up knowing I could never reach my destination without the wind. I know that it will take me where I am to go, but I have come to believe in a higher force within me that is my source of strength and peace. This made me think: Perhaps, I was trying to reach my destination and goals by my own efforts and my journey was over when I reached the limit of what was inside of me- often making me cranky and so tired.

I know i haven't been the best child of the God-especially since i stopped the ministry- but i really got to tell you guys that He has never failed me!- always catching me when i fell.

Recently, as many of you may know i gave up my biggest life dream: the upcoming Western Australias' Ironman. It was as much of a shock to myself as to my friends. I was so disheartenned and angry with my self for giving up that easily and not being able to continue; when all my accomodations, ticketting, racefee, transportation and arrangements were already paid. This depressive state mad me so crazy that i even sold my most loved possession:my cevrvelo bike:( Many thought i had gone cuckoo and was doomed for the pitholes. I honestly was so devastated but played all so tough and cool on the outside as usual-when i was crying out loud and bleeding inside.

I honestly didnt know what to do.

Situations all round were just going haywire. Work, School administratives screwing up forcing me to switch my degree programme, my Ironman dream, stopping my clubbing and alcoholic habitcs, friends....everything. But last week things started taking a dramatic and incredible turnabout. Well a month and a half i would say: Here's just a small list of things I would like to share with you guys:

At my most depressive state, God made a way for me to go back into rock climbing (since i gave it up 3yrs ago) and blessed me with some awesome climbing mates that are ever so encouraging and loving.

*Below are some photos from todays climbing with the SP guys. It was unfortunate we could climb at dairy farm and was caught in the storm. But anyways we never know when the rain would start to fall...so we continued out climb at Singapore poly and took loads of awesome photos which i plan to upload once i receive it from one of the mates.

I am Super-cali-fragil-istic-espi-ali-dociously exhalted that my strength is starting to boom up in climbing although i was in acute pain caused by my flesh exposed warts on my hand:( Managed to lead climb a roof:D and the past few weeks i managed to complete a couple of 6B+ routes comforably and even 1 6c route. Overcomed my fear of lead climbing roofs, crimpers and slopers: I am indeed smilign to myself pyschotically. I love the pain and blisters these days! I am in the zone man!

Met up with the United States Sports Academy's President and was presented a mentorship certificated for the BeiJing Olympics Internship

Represented the Girls' Brigade Singapore at the National Youth Achievement Award (Gold) and got to meet His Excellency Mr S R Nathan and a small article got featured on its magazine too.

Got a pay raise and am gettin my sat afternoons and sundays off! 4hrs of work every weekdays and might even be heading my own triathlon department this coming january in my own selected pool! He blessed me with awesome colleagues that are ever so funky and bubbly.

I am buyin a new Cervelo P2C! '
Completed my Singapoe Level 0 Tri-Skills Coaching Course
A trip to Batu Caves for climbing in November is my plan
Plans for next august russia's trip with Lenor and Evgeny is underway. Miss them so much:
Got to catch the F1 race qualifying and finals with Michy Wong by road hoggin at ECP and over at her place. Really glad that we have gone stronger than before:D

All i gotta say is that : My God is so great, so strong, so mighty and faithful. There’s nothing He can’t do! He’s my strength, my hope, my hero in me.

2008-10-01T00:25:00.001+08:00

They say we leave this world just the way we came into it;
naked and alone.
So if we do leave with nothing, what then is the measure of a life?
Is it defined by the people we choose to love?
Or is life simply measured by our accomplishments?
And what if we fail?
Or are never truly loved?
What then?
Can we ever measure up?
Or would the quiet desperation of a life gone wanting drive us mad?

2008-09-25T02:26:00.001+08:00

Мишель ВЭРМА is smilin to herself and singing!

"Here's my key philosophy
A freak like me
Just needs infinity

Relax
Take your time
And take your time
To trust in me
And you will find
Infinity, infinity

The time goes by
So naturally
and you'll receive
Infinity, infinity, infinity, infinity
Infinity, infinity, infinity, infinity"

2008-09-24T03:38:00.001+08:00

Right, honey. How is one supposed to differentiate a grown up?

It is crazy how people have to go to great lengths to put another person down when they don’t even know the person personally.

What would you people get? Happiness? WoW! GAWWWDDD!!!

Why do you people even thing of saying such thing without your toes being stepped on?

Jealous or Envious internally?

Understand this mates: every day we face the same truth: that life is fleeting- our time here is short- please go find something else better to do rather then making senseless comments that are baseless. Keep your opinions to yourselves. Do unto others what you want others to do onto you. Search your own hearts and realise that if someone else were to do the same to you, it will sting you and eat you up from the inside out- immensely.

Dudes, wake up! Its simple: YOU DON’T KNOW ME. Just don’t let it erupt into seeing the worst of me.

Enough of me being nice. I know I’m tough, ambitious, and I know exactly what I want. If that makes me a bitch, okay fine deal with it!

2008-09-23T00:38:00.002+08:00

I am so glad my days are gettin much brighter than before.
I just gotta let go and let time do its wonders .
I knew everything was gonna be just right.
I love it when my soul and spirit works together just like how i would strum to a chord on my guitar and "BAAAAAMMMM" it just flows with the lyrics.
This feeling is beautiful. I'm simply hwappy and it feels like my heart is beating out of my chest! Can you feel this with me?;)

*P.s. my One Tree Hill staple is back! ADDICTED!

2008-09-21T19:18:00.003+08:00

Although I have been really poooped out by the full swing work week under the hot sun- with all the upcoming swim races and leagues, I found todays' hike at bt timah, the neptune league with the power aquaduckies and yesterdays' bowling outing with extremely refreshing and relaxing to my mind. Thanks people for making this weekend bearable and helping me cope up with my insanity of aborting my IMWA and selling my beloved Cervelo..

I have been outdone by my own kind
I always traded up
Well I’m unaffected and indifferent
I know this is how hurt feels
And I can’t pretend I’m not over the edge
I’ve somehow regressed
It’s unprecedented, no second best

2008-09-19T01:40:00.003+08:00

I just realised why i am so exalted about my revived passion in climbing.It keeps me sane from all the insanity in my life! It keeps me holding on to my dreams at the same time lettin go of some stuff to reach them. Errmm yeah i am dissapointed in myself for giving up my Ironman dream this year but well.....my heart has opened up again.

So...there are like a kizillion of things around us that tear us apart all the time, but in these situations,
it also hardens us up-making us stronger.
It sends a voice that would someday come through your head letting you know that there is still love and passion inside of you
This makes our dark hearts believe in what is true again

I know that in the dark there’s a fear of letting go
I know that in my heart that I fear what I don’t know
and this feels like I’m letting go

But when it’s hard to trust,
when the heart been broken times before and you pull the curtains and you lock the door, swearing that you’ll never go out anymore
STEP OUT!
Look for the sound!
Even the seeming void would becomes a solid ground
The sight you lost becomes a faith you'll soon find!

2008-09-18T00:19:00.001+08:00

“…Did you ever wonder what it would be like if you weren’t you anymore?
If you were suddenly gone how would your world react?

Whatever you imagined was wrong.

There’s nothing romantic about death.

Grief is like the ocean: it’s deep and dark and bigger than all of us.

And pain is like a thief in the night.

Quiet. Persistent. Unfair.

Diminished by time and faith and love…”

2008-09-17T19:49:00.003+08:00

So this morning at 11.30am, I bid a sad farewell to my darling faithful Cervelo Dual. This was just the next step i took after my decision to abort the Ironman Dream last week. People might be thinkin i've gone cuckoo..but not to worry im sane and grounded. Actually i'm preety much hwappy and contented in my heart-and that's all that matters. Thanks for caring people....

I once heard a quote:
"True wisdom is less presuming than folly. The wise man doubteth often, and changeth his mind; the fool is obstinate, and doubteth not; he knoweth all things but his own ignorance."
Well its not the matter itself but the manner in which something is done or said.

2008-09-14T20:18:00.005+08:00

High On Rocks Session @ Dairy Farm! 14.09.08!

A climber's day always starts at the crux: getting out of bed! So i woke up early in the morning today for my first virginal natural rock climbing experience at Dairy Farm and didnt know what to expect.

All i knew that it would be way more dangerous than climbing in a gym and that one of my personal friend did afterall lose his life at that very place a few years ago. I knew tat i had to be extra safe when grabbing and trusting a jug or placing my foot hold on a stable rock...epecially since it is granite and all mossy and slippery.

I gotta say after today, ...it was the awesomnest climb i ever had in all my climbing experience ...at least to date..managed to do a couple of easy Grade 5-6A+ walls...however im sure the 6A+ wall was at least a 6B+ even according to the better climbers...

I am looking forward to many more experiential climbs with my coolest climbing kakis. I think im falling into the love trap of climbing again! Well like i always believe: the best climber in the world is the one who's having the most fun!

This week has been an awesome week!!!:D

*Ps. I have withrawn from my IMWA 2008 and am contented with my decision! If you wanna know the reason ask me yourself;)

2008-09-10T00:24:00.000+08:00

"For one human being to love another; that is perhaps the most difficult of all our tasks, the ultimate, the last test and proof, the work for which all other work is but preparation"
--Rainer Maria Rilke--